Everything in life is cyclical. We're born, we live, we die, and the circle continues. I have seen so many cycles in my life, not just the human life, but experiences, friendships, all kinds of cycles. Last fall, one cycle closed for my husband, but it opened a whole new series of cycles for both of us. He lost a friend of his to cancer, which was devastating to him, however as a result we were introduced to his friend's family and circle of friends, who folded us in with their love and support instantly. The result has been a whole new batch of friendships for both of us to foster and grow, and I have been so incredibly thankful for that legacy that Andy has left us.
Letter #91 is going in tomorrow's mail to Andy's daughter Amie. The first time I met Amie I saw exactly how I have always pictured myself when I will ultimately lose my dad. She was a mess. Still smiling and trying so hard to be strong and to pay tribute to his life, his wishes and all of the beautiful and wonderful things he stood for, but she was in so much pain that I just wanted to fold her into my arms and cry with her... and we had never met before. As time has passed I have seen her several other times, and while she has gotten stronger it is clear that the loss of her father has completely rocked her to her very core. Even the thought of losing my own dad puts me in touch with those emotions, and I can empathise very deeply. At the same time, she pushes to move on, to be a strong and wonderful wife and mother, and to be a friend to those who choose to be in her life... including me. While we don't spend a whole lot of time together one-on-one, I have felt a strong connection to her, and I very much hope that our friendship will continue to grow.
I decided to write Amie to send her some love and support, and to remind her that I was grateful she has entered my life, even if we aren't the closest of closest friends. She and I have tried a few times to get together and it's never quite worked out due to schedules, etc, so I reminded her of my desire to get that together sometime and for us to spend some time hanging out and just relaxing.
♥♥♥Rachel♥♥♥
ReplyDeleteMy Dad was special. The people that he surrounded himself with were/are too! Austin, Steve, Dennis, Ryan...the list goes on. Austin meant a lot to my Dad. He believed in him from the first day that he met him when he hired him on the spot to play at Linda's birthday party, without ever hearing him sing a lick. From that day on, my Dad became his biggest cheerleaders, not just for Austin's music, but because of the friend that he was and the man that he is. It is no surprise that Austin would marry his equal.
One of the greatest gifts that my father has left us has been the support and Love of his amazing friends...friends that he considered family.
I find it a difficult world to navigate without my Dad. I am quite proudly, and quite pathetically ☺ heavens biggest Daddy's girl! I always will be. Losing my Dad has been awful, and you are right...I have been rocked to my very core!! There were days, especially in the beginning that it was amazing to me that my physical body could continue to carry me forward when emotionally my heart and soul was so broken. I still have days where I feel as broken by my Dad's loss, as I did when he first passed and then I open up my computer and I receive, what I can only believe is a message from heaven! A message sent to me from my friend, Rachel. A message of Love and support. A message of empathy and friendship.
When Dad first passed away, I found myself asking 'Why? Why him?' and then I thought that it was pretty arrogant of me to question why God would take him. Why would He not want to be with my Dad...my Hero! He knows the reason. And although, I miss him terribly and would give anything to have him back again, if I sit quietly and reflect, I see the many gifts that he has given us, in his death. You and Austin are one of those gifts. You were, and continue to be such a comfort to me. I cannot help but to feel as though I am with family when I am surrounded by my Dad's 'family', his amazing friens. It may sound strange, but when I am with you all (you and Austin, Steve and Chris, Dennis and Donna, Joe, Ryan...etc..) I feel close to my Dad. I thank every one of you for allowing him to live on in you!
Thank you, Rachel, for the magic of you and for your friendship. It means a lot to me! I would Love to see you soon!
♥♥♥Love Always,
Amie♥♥♥