Letter #51 - Kris

When I was young, my parents often "adopted" young couples and became friends with them, and mentors of sorts.  They would have them over for dinner, share with them about their own experiences, watch them start their families, and become very influential in their lives.  Watching them do this, it never really occurred to me that one day I would be half of a young couple like that, and that maybe I would like someone to take me under their wing in a similar way.  Never really occurred to me until my husband and I met Kris and her husband Steve.  We met them just a few months into our marriage, and they have certainly taken us under their wing.  They've had us to their home for dinner, they've been in ours, and they've attended some of my husbands gigs.  It's been very cool to have an older (non family) couple befriend us and make us feel welcomed by their friendship.  The last time we spent an evening together, I discovered that Kris was dealing with some family health issues - several all at once.  Having been in that position myself before, I decided to send her a little note of encouragement and smiles.  I am grateful to have her and her husband fill a role in our lives that I grew up watching my parents fill for other young couples.  I hope that someday my husband and I will be in a position to pay both their kindness, and their friendship forward!

Letter #46 - Allison

Life is a funny thing.  Sometimes people are huge huge parts of your life, then circumstances drift you apart from each other.  When life gets really cool, is when circumstances drift you back together with those people after years of not even really knowing where each other was.  Allison is one of those people.  When I was very young, Allison and her husband attended the same church as us.  My parents became good friends with them, and they looked after us a few times when my folks had to go out of town.  They started their family while we knew them, and we knew their two oldest daughters as babies and toddlers.  Then life got in the way.  We all moved, we lost touch, you all know the story.  Then life took over.  Last year I got married.  About 5 months before the wedding, I received a note on Facebook (God bless Facebook!) from Allison.  She had finally succeeded in tracking our family down and several long phone calls ensued.  She was so thrilled about my upcoming wedding, and she and her husband graciously offered us the use of their vacation home as a honeymoon destination.  We accepted and had a most incredible trip - for next to nothing.

Allison is a fiercely loyal and independent woman.  She works hard to keep the most important things in her life strong, including her passion for her work, her family, and her friends.  Even when I was so young, I looked up to her immensely and hoped to become a woman even a little like her.  (I wanted her red hair too lol)  In the time leading up to our wedding, Allison and John also paid forward to us a kindness that had been paid to them when they were our age, and that made me want to be like her even more.  To be able to see in us something they related to, and wanted to nurture was an overwhelming kindness for me.  We have not seen each other in person in over15 years (something I desperately hope to change in 2011!) but Allison's influence on my life has been huge, and it continues to grow.

As I wrote my letter to Allison I felt as if I was writing an old friend (which I am, we just lost touch for 10+ years) and the words came so easily.  I could remember times spent with her and her family when I was young, and I wished so hard we lived closer together so we could spend time together again now.  She is an incredible woman, and I think with a little effort, I can be a lot like her... I sure am trying!

Letter #34 - Meredith

I've had a rough few years.  I've been dealing with some personal demons, and processing some tragedies that occurred in the life of my family.  As I've continued to work through some of these things I have recently found myself at a bit of a crossroads when it comes to religion.  I used to be very active and involved in my church, and part of me misses that very much, especially when it comes to the times I was able to interact with the kids and help be a positive influence in their lives.  Because of some of my own things I'm not currently not emotionally in a place to continue to be involved at that level, but I do very much still want those connections.  This project has allowed me an inbetween place that I hadn't had before.  It allows me to connect with those kids, without risking my own issues being challenged before I'm ready to face them at that level.

Meredith is one of those kids.  She's a camper I've always tried to keep an eye on.  She's struggled with a lot of the same issues most girls her age experience, and I've tried to be a positive influence, if from a more distanced setting.  Meredith and I recently connected on facebook, which has given me an entirely new way to communicate with her.  I decided this week to send her a letter as an attempt on my part to establish a more concrete relationship with her.  The experience dredged up some of the reflections above, and made me consider the reasons I felt led to reach out to her.  It was a really interesting and useful experience for me, and I was able to finally pinpoint a way in which I can still share of myself, without doing so in a capacity that would quickly make me feel cynical or inauthentic.  I was glad to find that outlet.

Letter #10 - Jeri

This afternoon I finished writing a letter to a woman who has been a part of my life since I was four years old.  Jeri's husband was a classmate of my fathers' when he was completing his Masters' of Religion degree.

Jeri is a smart, funny, clever lady with a sharp wit and a great smile.  She's always embodied the "cool aunt" stereotype for me.  When my family moved to the Netherlands, I was entering the oh-so-delicate pre-teen years (I have since decided that it's the pre-teens who are the real terrors... full blown teens are already beginning to mellow...)  To this day, I do not know what inspired her to do so, but Jeri took me under her wing.  She knew that I liked to read, and so she would send me books she would find at this amazing used bookstore in her town.  While I became fluent in Dutch by the end of our time there, I still read mostly English books.  Books in general were pretty expensive over there, and English books were even pricier - when you could find a store that carried them!  Jeri had a knack for sending the exact kinds of books I would love, and I spent hours losing myself in the stories.

I know I sent her thank you notes at the time, but they were strictly for the books.  Today, I got to thank her for what was behind the books.  Jeri was a role model for me, even if I didn't get it at the time.  In my letter, I got to tell her how I've recently been able to pay her kindness forward to some pre-teens in my life.  I hope that my influence on them can be every bit as positive as Jeri's was on me.