Letter #87 - Erin

I've moved.  A lot.  This means I've lived a lot of places, and had a lot of neighbours and a lot of friends.  Erin is the first neighbour that I have any memories of, and also one of my first friends that I can remember.  I turned 4 the week my family moved to Independence Missouri (my birthday has been almost exclusively spent mid-move or at a church camp) and Erin lived across the street.  During our time there we would spend our days playing in each others' yards, creating dance and gymnastics routines in her basement, climbing trees at my house, or coming up with craft projects.  We had countless sleepovers which always involved makeovers and movies and lots and lots of snacks and giggling.  As we grew older and the trips back to Missouri became less and less frequent, we got worse at keeping tabs on each other.  That never seemed to matter when we came face to face though and we would spend what little time we had together trying to catch up on jobs, classes, boys and music... more giggling, more dreaming, and lots of reminiscing.

Last year I got to spend some more time with Erin and I was so excited to learn that she had just gotten engaged.  More giggling and girly stuff as we talked about my upcoming wedding and ideas for hers... more boys... more giggling.  When the invitation to her wedding arrived I was so sad to have to RSVP no.  Between a severe lack of finances, and having my masters class that weekend it just wasn't possible.  I found myself thinking about her all week leading up to her big day, and the day of my mind kept wandering and wondering where she was at that point in the day, and what she was doing, and whether she was married yet... I wished so badly I could have been there.  So instead, I wrote her a long letter.  It got a bit mushy I will admit but come on... one of my earliest childhood friends got married just 9 months (to the day!) after me... I was bound to get sentimental!

Her younger sister is getting married in a month as well, and I unfortunately (for the same reasons) can't attend hers either... but I am hopeful that maybe in a year or so the world will have changed in such a way that maybe our paths can cross again and there will be more movies, more makeovers, and more giggling.

Letter #50 - Evan

When my family moved to the Detroit area, I was devastated.  I was coming from an incredible experience living in Rotterdam, I missed Canada, and I was furious that my parents would dare uproot our family to come to a country that I didn't love (settle down all, it's grown on me).  I sobbed the entire 8 hour plane ride from Amsterdam to Detroit... I think the flight attendants were debating whether or not to call in social services on the chance that maybe I was being abducted... when my dad told them I was 14, they gave him a knowing look and walked away.  I was bound and determined to hate Michigan with a fiery passion, and had a plan to make my family pay for making me so miserable.  Then I met Evan like a week after the plane landed.  Damn him.

Evan quickly became one of my closest friends, and helped stave off some of my loneliness.  He would email me, call, we'd hang out sometimes, and saw each other every week at church.  He was my rock.  I don't think he ever realised this.  We stayed close through the next 3 years, including an incredible trip to Tahiti with a church group.  I still can't watch anything with Sean Connery in it without missing him desperately.  We were each others' prom dates, and then when he graduated high school he left me.  We never had a romantic involvement with each other, though sometimes I wonder if we weren't crushing on each other at opposite times.  When Evan moved to Arizona to start college I was sure he'd come back when he was finished with school.  After all, his family was in Detroit, and so was I, and we were such good friends.  He still lives in Arizona.  His family moved away, and here I still am.  He's been back to visit of course, and I've made it down there a couple of times as well to see him.

I don't think I think about how much I miss him normally.  The fact that I'm tearing up a little just writing this speaks to that I guess.  I miss laughing with him, I miss our shared sense of humour, our shared love for laser tag, our shared understanding of the joys and challenges of babysitting Brandon & Cameron... or Brett & Kelsy... or Tim.  I just miss him.  He gives great hugs, thoughtful gifts and even though it's tough to get him to be serious sometimes, I miss his insights on life and people.

Someday when I have an income again, I hope to take another trip to Arizona to spend some time with him.  I hope he knows how much I love him, how much I miss him, and how much his friendship has meant to me over the years... even if I suck at telling him that most of the time.

Letter #49 - Rachel

When I was in Grade One I had one of those weird phenomenons of a class of 15-20 kids with only about 10 names.  We had SO many repeats in that class... Trevors, Sara/hs, Justins and Rachels.  It was my first time encountering someone who had the same name as me, and at first I didn't take it too well.  Needless to say, I got over it, and Rachel is now one of my oldest friends (time-wise, not age-wise).  Over the years Rachel and I have drifted in and out of each others' lives, in and out of contact, but we always manage to reconnect here or there and send each other a hello, thinking of you or say hi to your family for me.  She is one of those people who will probably get a card from me every Christmas of her life.  I can't seem to let her go, no matter how far apart we live, how long it's been since we last spoke, or how infrequently I hear back from her.

Rachel comes from a family of musicians and is a gifted musician herself.  I was always jealous of her growing up because while I practiced and practiced (read: fought my parents tooth and nail on being forced to practice even 20 minutes per day) piano, she could sit down and play the entire score from Phantom of the Opera without even having music in front of her.

I remember one time I was at her house for a sleepover (a common occurrence when we were young) and we decided we needed more money.  Why, I don't remember, but we needed it.  So we spent the whole afternoon making cheap little friendship bracelets, then went around door to door in her neighbourhood selling them for something like a quarter a piece.  We always had creative ways to spend our time... making bracelets, playing music, building snow forts, watching her brother build robots, watching movies, "cooking", teaching ourselves the art of makeup (oh Lord I'm sure photos exist!).  I loved Rachel's parents, her dog, her house, her brother (even though he despised us, as all older brothers should at that age).  She loved my parents, my cats, my house, my brother (though we also despised him, as all older sisters should at that age).

I wrote to Rachel to catch up.  I told her about some of the things happening in my life, asked her for news about her own adventures.  I sent her a few photos, and reminded her that I was still glad to count her as a friend, even if we haven't seen each other in probably 15 years now.  I don't know if I'll hear back from her, she never was all that great at writing letters, even when we were closer, but I felt really good about sending her a hi, a thinking of you, and a say hi to your family for me.

Letter #46 - Allison

Life is a funny thing.  Sometimes people are huge huge parts of your life, then circumstances drift you apart from each other.  When life gets really cool, is when circumstances drift you back together with those people after years of not even really knowing where each other was.  Allison is one of those people.  When I was very young, Allison and her husband attended the same church as us.  My parents became good friends with them, and they looked after us a few times when my folks had to go out of town.  They started their family while we knew them, and we knew their two oldest daughters as babies and toddlers.  Then life got in the way.  We all moved, we lost touch, you all know the story.  Then life took over.  Last year I got married.  About 5 months before the wedding, I received a note on Facebook (God bless Facebook!) from Allison.  She had finally succeeded in tracking our family down and several long phone calls ensued.  She was so thrilled about my upcoming wedding, and she and her husband graciously offered us the use of their vacation home as a honeymoon destination.  We accepted and had a most incredible trip - for next to nothing.

Allison is a fiercely loyal and independent woman.  She works hard to keep the most important things in her life strong, including her passion for her work, her family, and her friends.  Even when I was so young, I looked up to her immensely and hoped to become a woman even a little like her.  (I wanted her red hair too lol)  In the time leading up to our wedding, Allison and John also paid forward to us a kindness that had been paid to them when they were our age, and that made me want to be like her even more.  To be able to see in us something they related to, and wanted to nurture was an overwhelming kindness for me.  We have not seen each other in person in over15 years (something I desperately hope to change in 2011!) but Allison's influence on my life has been huge, and it continues to grow.

As I wrote my letter to Allison I felt as if I was writing an old friend (which I am, we just lost touch for 10+ years) and the words came so easily.  I could remember times spent with her and her family when I was young, and I wished so hard we lived closer together so we could spend time together again now.  She is an incredible woman, and I think with a little effort, I can be a lot like her... I sure am trying!

Letter #32- John

As the current crisis in Egypt continues to unfold, I have found myself often thinking of my old friend John.  John is a former US Ambassador, and someone I had the privilege of meeting because of my father.  When I was a sophomore in high school, I had aspirations of getting into politics.  I had the opportunity to participate in one of my school's "enrichment weeks" which was in partnership with Close Up Washington DC.  During my trip I was given permission to skip an afternoon of activities and spend some time with John, who had prepared an incredible tour of the city for me, including meetings with several of his contacts in various organisations across the city, serving various functions.  The tour concluded with a private tour of the white house, including stops in the press room, oval office, and situation room (I got to sit in the President's chair!!)  It was an awesome experience.

During my undergrad I gradually shied away from politics and decided to pursue teaching.  Now I find myself drifting back toward the political realm as I pursue my Masters in Social Justice... but John has always stayed with me in the impact he has had on my worldview.  Having been able to hear stories of some of his experiences, having been given the great gift of meeting some of the people he introduced me to, and having kept his insights in my mind as I've matured, I have been blessed by his influence in my life.

I decided to share some of these insights with John in a letter I wrote him this week.  I have not kept in close touch with John in recent years, in fact I had to send him an email to request his current mailing address.  I am hoping that he will be able to take some pride in his impact on my life, and that he will be honoured by the fact that I can, in part, credit him for my current course of study.  As I wrote my letter, my mind was flooded with memories from that DC trip, as well as thoughts and reflections that have floated through my mind over the years.  The simple act of writing his letter made me really consider the path that has brought me to this moment in my academic and professional career and what has helped shape the goals I now have for myself.  That in and of itself was an experience I don't often get to enjoy, it was very cool.

Letter #26 - Liz

My cousin Liz and I are about 2 weeks apart in age.  Until I was in high school we never lived close to one another, and so even though we would see each other usually once or twice a year, and even though we would exchange cards, letters and gifts, I never felt like I really truly got to know her.  During high school we were pretty much inseparable even though we didn't attend the same school.  College pulled us apart as I stayed in state and Lizzie moved out of state, and then got married, taking her out of state more permanently.  While I was happy for her to start married life and be so happy, I was bummed that she was far away again.  We still write and call but not as much as I would like.  We stood up in each others' weddings, but only get to see each other once every couple of years now as money and schedules don't allow us to travel much to see each other.

This week I sat down and did something I haven't done in a very long time... I wrote out a letter to Liz that consisted of more than just a line or two in a card.  It brought back memories of contests we used to have of who could send the longest letter... inside jokes we would share in high school... games we used to play when we were young... conversations we've had since we've grown up and matured a bit beyond complaining about homework and brothers (I have one, she has four).  I miss her a whole lot and it felt good to write the letter and feel like I was catching her up a bit.  I hope this will prompt me to make a stronger and more frequent effort to stay in closer contact with her, because I really do miss having her as a constant in my life.  That needs to come back.  So does Lizzie :o(

Letter #20 - Jose

I've been super busy the last few days so I haven't had a chance to post on my letters.  Here's to catching up.

The other day I was reminiscing about Mexico and it made me miss my dear friend Jose... so I sat down and wrote him a note.  Jose is one of those friends who I fell instantly in love with (platonically speaking).  He was one of the executives in my seminars and the more we talked, the more I felt like we had known each other forever.  He's the kind of friend that makes me wonder if there isn't something to the reincarnation idea... it feels like I would have known him in past lives.  We share a lot of life philosophies and world outlooks and anytime one of us was in each others' town there would be delicious food, wonderful conversation, and general awesomeness.

In my old job I could usually count on at least one trip to Mexico a year, and Jose could usually count on at least one Detroit trip a year, meaning we'd usually be able to squeeze in a few days to hang out a year.  Since I lost my job, no more Mexico.  Jose also has moved on, so no more Detroit.  It sucks.

Writing to Jose allowed me to remember all of the awesome times I had traveling to Mexico.  One of my first trips included a private guided tour of the Anthropology Museum and the Tituhacan Pyramids.  Super cool.