Letter #87 - Erin

I've moved.  A lot.  This means I've lived a lot of places, and had a lot of neighbours and a lot of friends.  Erin is the first neighbour that I have any memories of, and also one of my first friends that I can remember.  I turned 4 the week my family moved to Independence Missouri (my birthday has been almost exclusively spent mid-move or at a church camp) and Erin lived across the street.  During our time there we would spend our days playing in each others' yards, creating dance and gymnastics routines in her basement, climbing trees at my house, or coming up with craft projects.  We had countless sleepovers which always involved makeovers and movies and lots and lots of snacks and giggling.  As we grew older and the trips back to Missouri became less and less frequent, we got worse at keeping tabs on each other.  That never seemed to matter when we came face to face though and we would spend what little time we had together trying to catch up on jobs, classes, boys and music... more giggling, more dreaming, and lots of reminiscing.

Last year I got to spend some more time with Erin and I was so excited to learn that she had just gotten engaged.  More giggling and girly stuff as we talked about my upcoming wedding and ideas for hers... more boys... more giggling.  When the invitation to her wedding arrived I was so sad to have to RSVP no.  Between a severe lack of finances, and having my masters class that weekend it just wasn't possible.  I found myself thinking about her all week leading up to her big day, and the day of my mind kept wandering and wondering where she was at that point in the day, and what she was doing, and whether she was married yet... I wished so badly I could have been there.  So instead, I wrote her a long letter.  It got a bit mushy I will admit but come on... one of my earliest childhood friends got married just 9 months (to the day!) after me... I was bound to get sentimental!

Her younger sister is getting married in a month as well, and I unfortunately (for the same reasons) can't attend hers either... but I am hopeful that maybe in a year or so the world will have changed in such a way that maybe our paths can cross again and there will be more movies, more makeovers, and more giggling.

Letter #83 - Ginger

I have lived with a lot of people.  Mostly because the last few years of undergrad I was living in a house that was home to 12 students... many of which were different each year I was there.  Ginger was one of my roommates at the house and I absolutely loved her.  Ginger is everything a redhead named Ginger should be... fiery, independent, strong willed, passionate, and a touch crazy.  We made great roommates and she got me hooked on the wonderful world of Joss Whedon.  Ginger and I share a dark sense of humour, and she not only brought it out in me, but helped me realise it was ok to let that part of my personality out.  We don't keep in very regular contact, but we have the kind of relationship where that's ok, and when we *are* in touch it's like we still live together almost.

I wanted to write to Ginger because I have been thinking about her a lot this week, and reflecting on the impact she had on my life as a friend and as a roommate.  I wanted to verbalise some things to her that I never had before, and thank her for being so awesome.  She lives in another state now, and we've both gotten married since the last time we saw each other... I really hope at some point we can get together with our spouses and hang out and catch up again, but for now I'll make do with my letter and sending her a whole lot of love.  I hope my letter brings a smile to her face, and let's her reminisce for a bit about our shenanigans together when we were roommies :o)

Letter #81 - Granny

When I met my husband I was so excited to also meet his grandparents.  I lost both of my grandfathers by age 10, and one of my grandmothers when I was in college.  I never really lived very close to any of them for long so I always felt as if I got a little gypped when it came to having a relationship with my grandparents like some people do.  My husband had those relationships and when I met him he still had three living grandparents.  By the time we got married her had lost two of them and is now down to just Granny.

Granny is simply awesome.  She is fiercely independent (slowly less so as hip replacements and knee surgeries slow her down) and has a fantastic sense of humour.  I decided to send her a note because I would like to continue to develop my relationship with her.  She adores her family (4 sons, 3 daughter in laws, a dozen grandkids plus their spouses and a couple of great-grandchildren...!)  I sent her some photos from our wedding, from our honeymoon, and of our kitties, along with well wishes and some updates on things going on in our lives right now.  I actually hesitated before sealing the envelope, thinking I should let my husband add his own stuff too, then decided he really didn't have to and this could be allowed to just be mine.

Letter #58 - Alyssa

Some people just worm their way into your heart and stay there.  Alyssa is one of those people.  I almost never get to see her anymore, she and her husband share a phone to cut costs and she's awful with email, so it seems the only times I get to see her is if she happens to be at my folks' house at the same time as me.  We met Alyssa when my mum first got sick.  Things were so hard for us that no one even had the energy to clean, so we found some extra pennies somewhere and cashed them in with a house cleaning service.  Alyssa was one of the girls who showed up ready to work, and she rocked it out.  We began requesting her not only because of her skill, but because she was so caring and attentive.  She would run things by my mum, or suggest places that looked like they needed some extra care.  No added expense, just added professionalism.  She quickly grew to be a part of the family.  Then she got engaged.  We were all so excited for her, had her fiance over for dinner with her so we could meet him, and then they hired me to be their wedding photographer.  It was awesome, and the first wedding I'd ever been paid for.

Alyssa is an animal fanatic.  She used to always spend her breaks playing with our critters, and mourned our losses with us when Herman and Fowler went missing.  I decided to take our friendship into my own hands and sent her a letter, inviting her to get in touch with me so we could have her and her husband over for dinner sometime.  I also sweetened the pot by including some photos of the kitties :o)

I really hope she gets in touch with me, because I miss her a bunch.  As mum's health improved, we needed to cut costs and the cleaning became more of a luxury again, so now my folks only call Alyssa in on rare occasions.  Plus I don't live at home with them anymore, so when she *is* there, I'm not.  I would love to have her and Michael over for an evening to hang out, eat drink and maybe play some wii or something, I think they'd be totally game for that :o)

Letter #54 - Haitham

For someone who didn't get married until the age of 27 (not that I'm so ridiculously old!) I have had an awful lot of marriage proposals in my life.  Not a single one came with a ring (including the one I accepted, come to think of it...!) and most weren't actually serious (many were from boys under the age of 7).  My friend Haitham is responsible for many of those proposals.  For most of them, he wasn't single at the time, so I chalked it up to him trying to make me feel good about myself.  Others I chalked up to him being a hopeless flirt... one of the many things I love about him!  Proposals aside, we developed a wonderful and love filled friendship.  Over the years, Haitham has been much better at keeping in touch with me than I have with him.  When my family returned to the Netherlands in 2006 to visit, he made time to take me out for an evening and catch up (and propose again...).  We are now both happily married (not to each other) and he and his wife are expecting their first child.

I wanted to reconnect with him to share in his excitement and to remind him of how much he means to me, even if I'm not always good at returning his messages.  As I wrote his letter, I was struck by the face that I have no concrete understanding of how he and I became friends in the first place.  We met in high school, he's about 5 years older than me (which in high school is a HUGE age gap), we had no common classes, no real common friends, and yet we hung out at lunch and breaks nearly every day.  We laughed A LOT together, and pondered human behaviour and human relationships.

I dearly wish I had the means to visit him once his baby is born, to meet his wife and child, to watch him glow as a father, to give him a hug and a kiss and to laugh with him again.  Maybe someday that will happen... who knows, by then I may have a family of my own to introduce to his!

Letter #26 - Liz

My cousin Liz and I are about 2 weeks apart in age.  Until I was in high school we never lived close to one another, and so even though we would see each other usually once or twice a year, and even though we would exchange cards, letters and gifts, I never felt like I really truly got to know her.  During high school we were pretty much inseparable even though we didn't attend the same school.  College pulled us apart as I stayed in state and Lizzie moved out of state, and then got married, taking her out of state more permanently.  While I was happy for her to start married life and be so happy, I was bummed that she was far away again.  We still write and call but not as much as I would like.  We stood up in each others' weddings, but only get to see each other once every couple of years now as money and schedules don't allow us to travel much to see each other.

This week I sat down and did something I haven't done in a very long time... I wrote out a letter to Liz that consisted of more than just a line or two in a card.  It brought back memories of contests we used to have of who could send the longest letter... inside jokes we would share in high school... games we used to play when we were young... conversations we've had since we've grown up and matured a bit beyond complaining about homework and brothers (I have one, she has four).  I miss her a whole lot and it felt good to write the letter and feel like I was catching her up a bit.  I hope this will prompt me to make a stronger and more frequent effort to stay in closer contact with her, because I really do miss having her as a constant in my life.  That needs to come back.  So does Lizzie :o(