Letter #68 - Randi

I know I often tout the awesomeness of my cousins both blood related and in-laws, but Randi just about tops the awesome cousin charts.  As Randi and I got to know each other while my husband and I were dating, I would often tell him that if we ever split up, I would have to be allowed to keep her.  Randi is the very definition of spunk.  (that's in my dictionary, I didn't webster it) She has an incredible passion for life and an awesomely deep love for her family.  When my husband and I got engaged, it became clear that Randi would be my go-to girl when I needed a safe space.  Being a married-in to the family as well, she and I share "status" in what can and can't be discussed or fought, what buttons get pushed, and how we can love our husbands so much and shake our heads at the same time at some of the shared family traits.  We both love the family we've chosen to join but it's nice to have someone who can share the love *and* the frustrations that inevitably come with being "the outsider" at times.  

As I wrote my letter to Randi I found myself missing her intensely.  We went through a spell recently where we were hanging out a lot, then this past month both our lives got busy and I've barely seen her.  My letter to Randi made me reflect on how blessed I am to have her in my life, and even more to have her in my family!!!

Letter #61 - Tammy

I have mentioned before how great my cousins are.  Tammy is no exception.  As I've grown older, the age gap between me and my cousins on my dad's side of the family has become less important, and we've all grown to be good friends.  If I had to pick one word to describe Tam it would be spunky.  She's hilarious, kind hearted and knows her way around the kitchen (are you noticing a trend on the van Rossum side yet? lol) she and my brother are actually probably closer than she and I, but I love her all the same and according to her status updates on facebook recently, she needed a little extra love.  So I sent her a card with a big hug and a smile and well wishes for a better week ahead.  Knowing the Canadian Postal Service, she may not get my card until next year, but hey, one can hope :o)

Writing to Tammy made me think about family gatherings to come, that side of the family has really tried hard the last several years to get together on a regular basis again.  When I was a kid we always did Christmas, then as we grew older it fell by the wayside.  Now a lot of my cousins have their own kids and it's become a priority for us all again, which has been really nice.  This year we're actually in the process of trying to get an Easter gathering together as well.  I'm not sure yet if it's going to work out for my husband and I to go, but we're hoping we can.  I love my family, as insane as they are, and look forward to spending time with my cousins because I don't get to very often.

Letter #56 - Teresa

I have been blessed with AWESOME cousins.  What's more is I have AWESOME cousin-in-laws.  As I've grown older I've been able to get to know some of my other cousins better.  On my dad's side of the family my cousins are mostly quite a bit older than me, so growing up we weren't all that close, they were babysitters not buddies.  My one cousin married a beautiful and gentle soul a few years ago, Teresa.  They now have two awesome children and are simply an adorable family.  Teresa isn't much for the email and such, so I decided to send her a letter.  Writing to Teresa gave me a chance to just send her some love.  She is so cheery and sweet, but I always get the feeling she puts a LOT of pressure on herself... she's one of those people who feels like she has to be the perfect everything.  Perfect wife, perfect mom, perfect daughter.  She's awesome and I love her dearly, but I sent her a letter of love and encouragement, hoping she'll be able to let up on herself just a little.

I don't get to see Teresa as often as I'd like.  She and her family live in Canada, and I don't get up there much anymore for visits.  My husband and I have talked about going to visit them sometime this year, I really hope we make it happen because I really do love my cousins and wish I could spend more time with them.

Letter #52 - Debra

When I think back on past relationships I've been in, there was always one glaring red flag for me when I would consider if this was gonna be "the one" or not.  I never loved their families.  In one case I was afraid of the guys family.  That always bothered me.  I come from a very close knit family (immediate & extended) and it's a big deal to me.  I couldn't quite wrap my head around spending the rest of my life with someone whose family made me uncomfortable.  Clearly none of them became my in-laws so we're all good there... but I wonder if that didn't help my husband's case even more when I met his family and loved them all.  Even his awkward pre-teen cousin who spent the day peeling my sunburn when he thought I wasn't looking (he's grown out of that phase by now).  I love my in-laws.  Parents, aunts & uncles, siblings, cousins... they're awesome.  That's why I decided to write to Aunt Debbie.

I don't know Aunt Debbie nearly as well as I would like to, and so this letter was about reaching out to her to hopefully get to know her better.  I love just about everything I do know about her, and she is one of the most pleasant and caring women you could ever hope to meet.  She always greets us ALL with a huge smile, a big hug and sparkling eyes.  Her laugh is infectious and you can tell how deeply she loves her family, just by looking at her.  She's awesome.

As I wrote my letter all I could hear was her laughter in my head, and all I could see was her smiling face.  I really hope that this relationship continues to grow because I feel like she has so much to offer me that I haven't been able to reach out and accept yet... I hope that changes really soon.

Letter #40 - Connie Sue

Sometimes it's difficult to remember that the kids who were kids when I last saw them in person are now teenagers and young adults.  That presents a challenge when I write to them because I have to be very conscious of my tone and language.  Instead of asking them how school is, I have to ask what they're studying, or if they've decided on what they want to do when they graduate.  Instead of using phrases like "I hope you are having fun" it's "what kinds of stuff are you doing these days?"  It puts me in a reflective mode as I remember letters I used to get from older friends as I was growing up.

Letter #40 went to a girl I know named Connie Sue.  I met Connie Sue at a church camp in Alaska the same year I met my husband.  I got talked into helping out with the Junior High class and ended up having a really fun time getting to know the 10 kids in the class and spending time with them.  We taught each other crazy campfire songs, made s'mores, wandered around nature preserves, etc.  It was overall just a really neat week.  Connie Sue, her brother and her cousin were all in that class, and we spent a lot of time watching the family dynamics unroll.  It was cool to see that even though they picked on each other a lot, they also still liked each other quite a bit, similar to my brother and I at those ages.

I sent Connie Sue a wedding photo and invited her to look me up if she was on facebook (I haven't been able to find her there yet).  We have exchanged a handful of letters over the years, but I'm hoping this one will maybe invite a more regular exchange.  She was a really neat kid and I'd love to get to know the young woman she's grown into since I last saw her!

Letter #26 - Liz

My cousin Liz and I are about 2 weeks apart in age.  Until I was in high school we never lived close to one another, and so even though we would see each other usually once or twice a year, and even though we would exchange cards, letters and gifts, I never felt like I really truly got to know her.  During high school we were pretty much inseparable even though we didn't attend the same school.  College pulled us apart as I stayed in state and Lizzie moved out of state, and then got married, taking her out of state more permanently.  While I was happy for her to start married life and be so happy, I was bummed that she was far away again.  We still write and call but not as much as I would like.  We stood up in each others' weddings, but only get to see each other once every couple of years now as money and schedules don't allow us to travel much to see each other.

This week I sat down and did something I haven't done in a very long time... I wrote out a letter to Liz that consisted of more than just a line or two in a card.  It brought back memories of contests we used to have of who could send the longest letter... inside jokes we would share in high school... games we used to play when we were young... conversations we've had since we've grown up and matured a bit beyond complaining about homework and brothers (I have one, she has four).  I miss her a whole lot and it felt good to write the letter and feel like I was catching her up a bit.  I hope this will prompt me to make a stronger and more frequent effort to stay in closer contact with her, because I really do miss having her as a constant in my life.  That needs to come back.  So does Lizzie :o(