Letter #101 - Dave

I grew up with a very interesting life.  The child of educators, ministers, and a natural hostess... my life has always been full of people.  Making new friends, greeting old friends, hosting families and strangers, being hosted by families and strangers... it's no wonder I don't do well with too much alone time! :o)

When I was four years old, my father became an appointee, which is our church's term for clergy, or full-time minister.  during his 10 month training process, he became friends with his fellow classmates, and all of our families developed a bond that I draw on to this day for strength and support.

Recently, I was reminded of a family vactation where a number of these families rented a place and spent a few days together out in the woods.  I was pretty young, and have relatively few memories of the time there, but I can vividly remember the emotions.  The feeling that I was completely safe with all of these people, and that they all loved me.

Dave was one of the guys on the vacation.  He and his family goofed off with us and hiked through the woods with us and told stories and laughed with us.  Dave has a great laugh.  Even as he has gotten older and become more serious (in part, a product of his latest position in our church), his laughter is something I treasure.  I wrote Dave mostly just to say hi, and to share the memory of that trip with him.  I hope it brings a smile to his face as he recalls some of the  shennanigans that took place that weekend... including the "ceremonial offering" presented to my family in my dad & brother's burned out sneakers...

I may not keep in close touch with Dave, or any of the other people in those families... but we all went through a very intense family experience together, and that has created friendships that have outlasted many things in my life.  These people also provide me with a strength I find I can access just by recalling those times we were all sharing space, and sharing love and laughter.  I will always be an appointee kid, and that makes me a part of a very special family.

Letter #68 - Randi

I know I often tout the awesomeness of my cousins both blood related and in-laws, but Randi just about tops the awesome cousin charts.  As Randi and I got to know each other while my husband and I were dating, I would often tell him that if we ever split up, I would have to be allowed to keep her.  Randi is the very definition of spunk.  (that's in my dictionary, I didn't webster it) She has an incredible passion for life and an awesomely deep love for her family.  When my husband and I got engaged, it became clear that Randi would be my go-to girl when I needed a safe space.  Being a married-in to the family as well, she and I share "status" in what can and can't be discussed or fought, what buttons get pushed, and how we can love our husbands so much and shake our heads at the same time at some of the shared family traits.  We both love the family we've chosen to join but it's nice to have someone who can share the love *and* the frustrations that inevitably come with being "the outsider" at times.  

As I wrote my letter to Randi I found myself missing her intensely.  We went through a spell recently where we were hanging out a lot, then this past month both our lives got busy and I've barely seen her.  My letter to Randi made me reflect on how blessed I am to have her in my life, and even more to have her in my family!!!

Letter #2 - Bob

I'm writing this pre-letter as I reflect on my evening an listen to "Broke Down" by Slaid Cleaves.  I would have written the letter first, but it's much easier to do that nestled in bed than to haul my laptop in there (crap battery life), so I decided to post first.  I already know what the experience will be like, and "Broke Down" is actually a pretty accurate reflection of that.  I will be writing to my friend Bob.  Bob is a musician friend I was blessed to meet through my husband's network.  While Bob is older than me, he is not so much older that he should have 'expected' to lose his wife earlier this year... which he did in a devastatingly sudden way.  Austin & I attended the memorial service and never have I experienced anything quite like it.  The community was rocked by his wife's death and showed up in mass to mourn her loss along with him and their children.  I've always felt close to Bob, even though we may not be the kind of friends who hang out together, or chat on the phone... he's just one of those people I've developed a strong attachment to, and I have tried very hard to be a support to him during the past several months as he processes the various stages of trying to make sense of what has become his life.

When I write to Bob, I often experience a deep feeling of compassion and love, and I try to ooze big hugs into each word.  Writing him also puts me in a reflective frame of mind as I think about people in my life who I've lost, and people I love who are still with me.  It puts me in a state of sympathy for his loss and grief, and one of gratitude that I still have my love and best friend with me.

I hope my card will bring a smile to his face, or at least let him understand that while we may not be "presence close" friends, I still keep him very close in my heart and think of him often.