Letter #47 - Murphy

Murphy is a sweet older man who fits into my "grandpa obsession" category of friends.  I love Murphy.  A lot.  It's impossible not to love him.

When Murphy lost his wife, it was a terrible thing for all of us to go through as she was an incredible woman.  She suffered from Alzheimer's Disease, and we all did our best to support Murphy through all of that.  I had Murphy on my list of letter recipients for this week before I even realised that I was going to get to see him last weekend at the Journey House Valentine's Banquet.  I was so thrilled to see him there, and even more thrilled when he quietly took me aside and "confided" in me that he had a new "friend" and was "as happy as a high school boy"  It was ADORABLE.  He then told me that the banquet was supposed to be their "coming out affair" but that apparently everyone already knew.  It was the cutest thing in the world... like an insulin shot right to the heart.

As I wrote my letter to Murphy, I congratulated him on finding such a wonderful woman to make him happy (he's been so sad for so long it did my heart happy to see him smiling so big!).  Writing to him also reminded me of some of the friends in my life who are a part of my "Murphy Circle"... names that will surely be appearing on this blog in the near future :o)

Letter #30 - Aunt Pat

I have a very large adopted family.  Aunt Pat has been a part of that adopted family for as long as I can remember.  She has another half, Uncle Jim, who passed away last year.  It still feels weird to say her name without his.  When I was doing my undergrad, I spent a lot of my summers with them in their home in Toronto.  They were a huge part in helping me to understand what healthy relationships should look like.  Since Uncle Jim's death, I have quadrupled my efforts to keep in touch with Aunt Pat.  We are eagerly anticipating the results of her recent eye surgery in the hopes that she will be able to come and visit us soon and get a much needed break from her current every day life.

Writing to Aunt Pat always fills me with very intense emotions, and I usually need a few moments to sit and reflect after I've finished writing her a letter.  I hope my card brings a smile to her face and a hug to her heart.  I have a deep love and appreciation for Aunt Pat and just keep holding her in my heart through this time of transition for all of us.

Letter #2 - Bob

I'm writing this pre-letter as I reflect on my evening an listen to "Broke Down" by Slaid Cleaves.  I would have written the letter first, but it's much easier to do that nestled in bed than to haul my laptop in there (crap battery life), so I decided to post first.  I already know what the experience will be like, and "Broke Down" is actually a pretty accurate reflection of that.  I will be writing to my friend Bob.  Bob is a musician friend I was blessed to meet through my husband's network.  While Bob is older than me, he is not so much older that he should have 'expected' to lose his wife earlier this year... which he did in a devastatingly sudden way.  Austin & I attended the memorial service and never have I experienced anything quite like it.  The community was rocked by his wife's death and showed up in mass to mourn her loss along with him and their children.  I've always felt close to Bob, even though we may not be the kind of friends who hang out together, or chat on the phone... he's just one of those people I've developed a strong attachment to, and I have tried very hard to be a support to him during the past several months as he processes the various stages of trying to make sense of what has become his life.

When I write to Bob, I often experience a deep feeling of compassion and love, and I try to ooze big hugs into each word.  Writing him also puts me in a reflective frame of mind as I think about people in my life who I've lost, and people I love who are still with me.  It puts me in a state of sympathy for his loss and grief, and one of gratitude that I still have my love and best friend with me.

I hope my card will bring a smile to his face, or at least let him understand that while we may not be "presence close" friends, I still keep him very close in my heart and think of him often.