I'm writing this pre-letter as I reflect on my evening an listen to "Broke Down" by Slaid Cleaves. I would have written the letter first, but it's much easier to do that nestled in bed than to haul my laptop in there (crap battery life), so I decided to post first. I already know what the experience will be like, and "Broke Down" is actually a pretty accurate reflection of that. I will be writing to my friend Bob. Bob is a musician friend I was blessed to meet through my husband's network. While Bob is older than me, he is not so much older that he should have 'expected' to lose his wife earlier this year... which he did in a devastatingly sudden way. Austin & I attended the memorial service and never have I experienced anything quite like it. The community was rocked by his wife's death and showed up in mass to mourn her loss along with him and their children. I've always felt close to Bob, even though we may not be the kind of friends who hang out together, or chat on the phone... he's just one of those people I've developed a strong attachment to, and I have tried very hard to be a support to him during the past several months as he processes the various stages of trying to make sense of what has become his life.
When I write to Bob, I often experience a deep feeling of compassion and love, and I try to ooze big hugs into each word. Writing him also puts me in a reflective frame of mind as I think about people in my life who I've lost, and people I love who are still with me. It puts me in a state of sympathy for his loss and grief, and one of gratitude that I still have my love and best friend with me.
I hope my card will bring a smile to his face, or at least let him understand that while we may not be "presence close" friends, I still keep him very close in my heart and think of him often.
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