Letter #98 - Barbara

I have had the great blessing of living a life full of strong women to serve as role models and mentors to me.  I've mentioned some of them on this blog before, and today I'm writing about another one.  I recently picked up my notecards and pen again and wrote out a few letters... admittedly I'm not as far along on this project as I would have liked, so I'm going to need to step it up a bit... but I wrote out a few in a moment of sheer loneliness.  Having been unemployed for nearly 2 years, I spent a lot of time at home.  I wrote out a letter to Barbara sharing with her about my life and how much I miss living near her.  I also shared about my job search, which pleasantly came to an end the week after I sent her letter off, so now I'll have to send her a new one to fill her in on my good news!

Barbara recognised the writer in me at a young age.  When I was about 5 or 6 she gave me my first journal.  Little did I know how important that would become to me.  That specific journal may not have had every page filled, but I now own about a dozen other journals that do.  I am not a regular journaler.  In fact I find that I write the most when I am going through difficult times.  Writing seems to be a way for me to focus my thoughts and clear my head.  It's an excellent release for me at times.  In the process of getting married and moving out of my parents home I came across my stack of journals again and began reading through some of them.  It was amazing to me how vividly the events I described in their pages came flooding back to me as I read.

I have recently come to think of myself as a collector of memories.  I collect all kinds of momentos of people, places, events... and a large reason for that is my background.  I moved all the time as a kid and teen, and I think it played into my almost obsessive need to commemorate things.  As I grow older I try to detach myself more from the "stuff" and work on the memories themselves.  Stuff goes away after time, and memories hopefully stay for much longer.  Barbara helped give me a tool to hold onto those memories.

I am grateful for her influence on my life, and for her immensely beautiful smile and spirit.  I treasure her friendship and pray I'll be able to see her again soon!

Letter #91 - Amie

Everything in life is cyclical.  We're born, we live, we die, and the circle continues.  I have seen so many cycles in my life, not just the human life, but experiences, friendships, all kinds of cycles.  Last fall, one cycle closed for my husband, but it opened a whole new series of cycles for both of us.  He lost a friend of his to cancer, which was devastating to him, however as a result we were introduced to his friend's family and circle of friends, who folded us in with their love and support instantly.  The result has been a whole new batch of friendships for both of us to foster and grow, and I have been so incredibly thankful for that legacy that Andy has left us.

Letter #91 is going in tomorrow's mail to Andy's daughter Amie.  The first time I met Amie I saw exactly how I have always pictured myself when I will ultimately lose my dad.  She was a mess.  Still smiling and trying so hard to be strong and to pay tribute to his life, his wishes and all of the beautiful and wonderful things he stood for, but she was in so much pain that I just wanted to fold her into my arms and cry with her... and we had never met before.  As time has passed I have seen her several other times, and while she has gotten stronger it is clear that the loss of her father has completely rocked her to her very core.  Even the thought of losing my own dad puts me in touch with those emotions, and I can empathise very deeply.  At the same time, she pushes to move on, to be a strong and wonderful wife and mother, and to be a friend to those who choose to be in her life... including me.  While we don't spend a whole lot of time together one-on-one, I have felt a strong connection to her, and I very much hope that our friendship will continue to grow.


I decided to write Amie to send her some love and support, and to remind her that I was grateful she has entered my life, even if we aren't the closest of closest friends.  She and I have tried a few times to get together and it's never quite worked out due to schedules, etc, so I reminded her of my desire to get that together sometime and for us to spend some time hanging out and just relaxing.

Letter #29 - Judy

As I mentioned, last week was a class weekend for me.  This time around, 3 of my classmates were missing for various reasons.  I decided to send letters to all of them - both to let them know they were missed, and to just connect and let them know a bit of what they missed since they'll have to make up the course at a later date.

Judy is a very strong woman.  She is dedicated to Social Justice and is always very friendly.  She makes an awesome cheerleader for our Tribe and her presence was sorely missed this weekend.  Writing to Judy also gave me an opportunity to debrief a little bit as well.  Class had been an intense experience for me this time around, so I was glad to have the chance to reflect a little as I wrote her.

Letter #7 - Kris

I'm not sure if the mail truck has been to our place yet or not, but whether it makes today's mail or tomorrow's, the letter I just finished writing is going to my friend Kris.  I have known Kris for about15 years I think now, and she is, by definition, awesome.  We met at a church camp in the UK and ever since spending that week together I greatly look forward to any event where I know our paths will cross.  Kris is vivacious, caring, compassionate, strong and stubborn (usually in all the right ways!).  She is someone who is not afraid to speak out against injustices, and is wonderful at confronting loved ones with love and compassion if she is concerned about them.  We have shared in camps, worship services, meals and just general chit chatting over the years and I have grown to respect her deeply.  She has been a mentor of sorts to me, someone who fiercely respects confidentiality, and who excels at helping others problem solve and learn to share their burdens with others.

Writing my letter this afternoon allowed me to reflect on one of the last times I can recall having the chance to spend some one-on-one time with Kris (which is a rare gift, she is an extremely busy lady!)  we had lunch together and she helped me talk through some stress points I had been carrying around with me for a few months at that point.  Her ability to not only approach the topic in a non-threatening way, but also to help me remember that I didn't have to carry all that weight on my own was invaluable to me at the time.  As I wrote my letter I was flooded with respect and love for her, even though the words I wrote were far more mundane (catching her up on my life since we last connected, inviting her and her husband to try and make time for a trip to visit this year, etc).

We all have people in our lives who play very important roles, and even though Kris and I may not chat every night on the phone, or even every week... she is someone I will always look up to and admire.

Letter #4 - Stephanie

Back in 2007 I was given an opportunity that I did not expect to be as influential in my life as it turned out to be.  I attended Jack Canfield's 2007 Breakthrough to Success seminar in Scottsdale, AZ.  I was supposed to go to "get a feel for the material" and ended up having an incredible experience.  Part of that experience included meeting Stephanie.

Today's letter went to Stephanie.  Steph is an amazingly strong and beautiful woman who I have come to admire very much.  She attended BTS with her incredible husband, and the two of them sort of adopted me for the week, which was awesome.  The three of us shared many meals, laughs, hugs, and even a few tears... and Stephanie and I share many evenings poolside just talking about life.  They live in another state and so I haven't been able to see them in person since that week, but I keep them both very close in my heart.  I was so excited writing my letter to her because even with the things in my life that aren't awesome right now (unemployment topping that list), I was able to share with her some of the successes I've had in achieving some of my goals that I set that week.  Talking with Steph always forces me to focus on the positives in my life, and on the possibles.  When I start doubting myself or my goals, she is one of the first to challenge me to focus on what IS attainable.

I'm so glad I decided to write her tonight, I had considered moving it to my list for tomorrow, but I was feeling frustrated with myself for having accomplished mostly nothing today (did cross one item off my to do list, but then I blew off the rest of the day...) writing this letter allowed me to recognise some of my successes, and allowed me to acknowledge the fact that sometimes, it's ok to reward myself for doing good... and tonight was a reward.  Tomorrow I will get up and face my to do list, my unemployment, my list of things I've been putting off for a week, my reading and prework for my next masters' class, etc... but tonight, I can focus on me, on the good things I've done, and on people like Stephanie who continue to be an inspiration to me!!