The very first time I encountered someone who shared my name I was upset. I was in the first grade and had never met another Rachel, so I guess it had just never dawned on me that it was possible for more than one person to have the same first name. My kindergarten teacher was named Rachelle, but that was a different name in my mind. I'm not sure why it bugged me, but it did. (She and I became best friends that year and are still in touch to this day, by the way).
Fast forward several years to an incredible opportunity where I got to attend a church youth camp in Tahiti. On that trip I met another Rachel, only this time there was no annoyance over the shared name. We like each other immediately and within a day, other campers were referring to us as "Rachel Squared". After the camp, Rachel and I kept in touch for awhile but then drifted, as often happens.
Fast forward several years to my parents informing me that we had houseguests for the week. A new missionary was moving to Detroit and would be staying with us along with his fiance' while they searched for a place to live. Imagine my surprise when I walked in to introduce myself and came face to face with my square! It was wonderful to reconnect, and we grew to be friends as couples as well. My (then boyfriend) and I atteneded their wedding, and they attended ours. Rachel recently moved back to Florida with her family, which made me sad because she had become a part of my circle of friends, and our husbands had grown close as well. I miss having them over and watching their son grow up.
Rachel is an incredible leader. She has a passion for Christ and is a true missionary, but she is also unshakable. She ministered side by side with her husband in urban Detroit, she dealt with rowdy college kids, and I have witnessed her leadership in many capacities, including motherhood. She has a calming effect on me, something I try to recall when I am feeling stressed out and under qualified. Her strength and confidence are an incredible example to me. I miss my square, a little more because we're not so great at keeping in touch, so I hope my letter brings a smile to her face, and that I hear something back from her. Even just a hello would brighten my day :o)
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Letter #101 - Dave
I grew up with a very interesting life. The child of educators, ministers, and a natural hostess... my life has always been full of people. Making new friends, greeting old friends, hosting families and strangers, being hosted by families and strangers... it's no wonder I don't do well with too much alone time! :o)
When I was four years old, my father became an appointee, which is our church's term for clergy, or full-time minister. during his 10 month training process, he became friends with his fellow classmates, and all of our families developed a bond that I draw on to this day for strength and support.
Recently, I was reminded of a family vactation where a number of these families rented a place and spent a few days together out in the woods. I was pretty young, and have relatively few memories of the time there, but I can vividly remember the emotions. The feeling that I was completely safe with all of these people, and that they all loved me.
Dave was one of the guys on the vacation. He and his family goofed off with us and hiked through the woods with us and told stories and laughed with us. Dave has a great laugh. Even as he has gotten older and become more serious (in part, a product of his latest position in our church), his laughter is something I treasure. I wrote Dave mostly just to say hi, and to share the memory of that trip with him. I hope it brings a smile to his face as he recalls some of the shennanigans that took place that weekend... including the "ceremonial offering" presented to my family in my dad & brother's burned out sneakers...
I may not keep in close touch with Dave, or any of the other people in those families... but we all went through a very intense family experience together, and that has created friendships that have outlasted many things in my life. These people also provide me with a strength I find I can access just by recalling those times we were all sharing space, and sharing love and laughter. I will always be an appointee kid, and that makes me a part of a very special family.
When I was four years old, my father became an appointee, which is our church's term for clergy, or full-time minister. during his 10 month training process, he became friends with his fellow classmates, and all of our families developed a bond that I draw on to this day for strength and support.
Recently, I was reminded of a family vactation where a number of these families rented a place and spent a few days together out in the woods. I was pretty young, and have relatively few memories of the time there, but I can vividly remember the emotions. The feeling that I was completely safe with all of these people, and that they all loved me.
Dave was one of the guys on the vacation. He and his family goofed off with us and hiked through the woods with us and told stories and laughed with us. Dave has a great laugh. Even as he has gotten older and become more serious (in part, a product of his latest position in our church), his laughter is something I treasure. I wrote Dave mostly just to say hi, and to share the memory of that trip with him. I hope it brings a smile to his face as he recalls some of the shennanigans that took place that weekend... including the "ceremonial offering" presented to my family in my dad & brother's burned out sneakers...
I may not keep in close touch with Dave, or any of the other people in those families... but we all went through a very intense family experience together, and that has created friendships that have outlasted many things in my life. These people also provide me with a strength I find I can access just by recalling those times we were all sharing space, and sharing love and laughter. I will always be an appointee kid, and that makes me a part of a very special family.
Gaps
For those of you who actually follow this, you've surely noticed that the year is closing in and I've only posted 100 of my 365 letters. You'll be pleased to know (or won't care at all) that I have still been writing, but my blogging has taken a backseat to life. I will be posting some more letter experiences soon, but thought I'd explain my absence a bit by saying I'm fine, it's just been a crazy few months... writing for me comes and goes in waves, and lately it's been all I can do to write the actual letters... also posting a blog on each one has just added to the stress, so I've allowed it to sit and wait for a time when I can enjoy sharing with you again.
Hang in there :o)
Hang in there :o)
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Letter #100 - Angie
100 is such a landmark number. TV shows celebrate their 100th episode, turning 100 warrants being featured on the local news, we base percentages on 100... 100 is noteworthy.
So is Angie. I didn't intentionally select a person to be letter #100, but that doesn't make Angie any less important. I find her fascinating in fact... mostly because Angie is one of those people who I am not necessarily close to, and yet I feel a strong connection to her. I run into her maybe twice a year at various events, I hear from her now and then on facebook... her number is not in my cell phone and we do not hang out. We don't particularly interact with each others' lives with any sense of deliberateness, and yet when she crosses my mind, I'm drawn to her personality.
I wrote to Angie because she had shown up a few times recently in my newsfeed on facebook, and I decided she could use a good old fashioned letter. We've been meaning to connect for a year now on a potential photography project for me, and it just keeps slipping through the cracks. I wanted to reach out to her in a non-traditional way (isn't it crazy how a letter is actually pretty non-traditional now in the US?) and just say hi.
I hope she enjoys the letter, I hope it makes her feel good and cared about, because even though we may not be close, I find that I care very much about her, and hope all good things for her in her life.
So is Angie. I didn't intentionally select a person to be letter #100, but that doesn't make Angie any less important. I find her fascinating in fact... mostly because Angie is one of those people who I am not necessarily close to, and yet I feel a strong connection to her. I run into her maybe twice a year at various events, I hear from her now and then on facebook... her number is not in my cell phone and we do not hang out. We don't particularly interact with each others' lives with any sense of deliberateness, and yet when she crosses my mind, I'm drawn to her personality.
I wrote to Angie because she had shown up a few times recently in my newsfeed on facebook, and I decided she could use a good old fashioned letter. We've been meaning to connect for a year now on a potential photography project for me, and it just keeps slipping through the cracks. I wanted to reach out to her in a non-traditional way (isn't it crazy how a letter is actually pretty non-traditional now in the US?) and just say hi.
I hope she enjoys the letter, I hope it makes her feel good and cared about, because even though we may not be close, I find that I care very much about her, and hope all good things for her in her life.
Letter #99 - Kerstin
I often marvel at how relationships work. They come, they go, they strengthen and weaken... Kerstin is a friend who has ridden those waves in my life. Our friendship has been stronger at times and weaker at others, yet we still stay connected, albeit indirectly at times.
Current events called Kerstin to mind when news of the shootings in Norway hit my twitter feed. Kerstin and her family live in Oslo and I immediately prayed for their safety. I'm happy to report they were unharmed, but it made me wonder about what causes us to drift so much as people, since I hadn't thought much of her in a year or more. I realised I don't know anything about her family anymore, or even what she is doing for work, if anything. I don't know what her husband does, I don't know how often they get to see her family in Germany, I don't know how old her kids are... and while I don't necessarily feel guilty for that (she doesn't know much about my life these days either), it urged me to write her and reconnect.
I have no idea if I will hear anything from her or not, I remember Kerstin was always much more of an in-person type, but we'll see. If nothing else, I know I made an effort to reconnect with someone I consider a friend, no matter how far we may have drifted.
Current events called Kerstin to mind when news of the shootings in Norway hit my twitter feed. Kerstin and her family live in Oslo and I immediately prayed for their safety. I'm happy to report they were unharmed, but it made me wonder about what causes us to drift so much as people, since I hadn't thought much of her in a year or more. I realised I don't know anything about her family anymore, or even what she is doing for work, if anything. I don't know what her husband does, I don't know how often they get to see her family in Germany, I don't know how old her kids are... and while I don't necessarily feel guilty for that (she doesn't know much about my life these days either), it urged me to write her and reconnect.
I have no idea if I will hear anything from her or not, I remember Kerstin was always much more of an in-person type, but we'll see. If nothing else, I know I made an effort to reconnect with someone I consider a friend, no matter how far we may have drifted.
Letter #98 - Barbara
I have had the great blessing of living a life full of strong women to serve as role models and mentors to me. I've mentioned some of them on this blog before, and today I'm writing about another one. I recently picked up my notecards and pen again and wrote out a few letters... admittedly I'm not as far along on this project as I would have liked, so I'm going to need to step it up a bit... but I wrote out a few in a moment of sheer loneliness. Having been unemployed for nearly 2 years, I spent a lot of time at home. I wrote out a letter to Barbara sharing with her about my life and how much I miss living near her. I also shared about my job search, which pleasantly came to an end the week after I sent her letter off, so now I'll have to send her a new one to fill her in on my good news!
Barbara recognised the writer in me at a young age. When I was about 5 or 6 she gave me my first journal. Little did I know how important that would become to me. That specific journal may not have had every page filled, but I now own about a dozen other journals that do. I am not a regular journaler. In fact I find that I write the most when I am going through difficult times. Writing seems to be a way for me to focus my thoughts and clear my head. It's an excellent release for me at times. In the process of getting married and moving out of my parents home I came across my stack of journals again and began reading through some of them. It was amazing to me how vividly the events I described in their pages came flooding back to me as I read.
I have recently come to think of myself as a collector of memories. I collect all kinds of momentos of people, places, events... and a large reason for that is my background. I moved all the time as a kid and teen, and I think it played into my almost obsessive need to commemorate things. As I grow older I try to detach myself more from the "stuff" and work on the memories themselves. Stuff goes away after time, and memories hopefully stay for much longer. Barbara helped give me a tool to hold onto those memories.
I am grateful for her influence on my life, and for her immensely beautiful smile and spirit. I treasure her friendship and pray I'll be able to see her again soon!
Barbara recognised the writer in me at a young age. When I was about 5 or 6 she gave me my first journal. Little did I know how important that would become to me. That specific journal may not have had every page filled, but I now own about a dozen other journals that do. I am not a regular journaler. In fact I find that I write the most when I am going through difficult times. Writing seems to be a way for me to focus my thoughts and clear my head. It's an excellent release for me at times. In the process of getting married and moving out of my parents home I came across my stack of journals again and began reading through some of them. It was amazing to me how vividly the events I described in their pages came flooding back to me as I read.
I have recently come to think of myself as a collector of memories. I collect all kinds of momentos of people, places, events... and a large reason for that is my background. I moved all the time as a kid and teen, and I think it played into my almost obsessive need to commemorate things. As I grow older I try to detach myself more from the "stuff" and work on the memories themselves. Stuff goes away after time, and memories hopefully stay for much longer. Barbara helped give me a tool to hold onto those memories.
I am grateful for her influence on my life, and for her immensely beautiful smile and spirit. I treasure her friendship and pray I'll be able to see her again soon!
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Letter #97 - Diane
Diane was my stand-in mom when I was doing my undergrad. When I graduated, I really meant to keep in better touch with her, but between our lives and schedules, we've drifted some. I still love her a lot, and look forward to opportunities to catch up with her, but it's not often we get to do that, and often times when we catch up I find we're both referencing people, places and things that the other has no context for.
I've struggled a little in my own mind with the changes in our relationship. At first I took it a little personally, we had been so close while I was there, and when I moved home it wasn't long before I wasn't getting checked in on anymore. I slowly began to understand that it wasn't anything personal, it was just that she had new students to focus on.
I'm sure Diane will be glad to hear from me, but I have no idea if I will get anything back. I just hope it brightens her day.
I've struggled a little in my own mind with the changes in our relationship. At first I took it a little personally, we had been so close while I was there, and when I moved home it wasn't long before I wasn't getting checked in on anymore. I slowly began to understand that it wasn't anything personal, it was just that she had new students to focus on.
I'm sure Diane will be glad to hear from me, but I have no idea if I will get anything back. I just hope it brightens her day.
Letter #96 - Nancy
I've mentioned before how much I love my Tribe. Nancy is one of my tribe members. Geographically she lives the closest to me, and we've shared rides to and from class several times. I'm several years older than her sons, but I think sometimes she looks at me like another one of her kids. Nancy is awesome, a complete bohemian trapped in conservative middle class suburbia and as a result we have had some really fascinating discussions.
I've been wanting to send Nancy a note for awhile just to tell her how great I think she is, so this week I took that opportunity. I sent some love and wished her luck on our upcoming assignments. We don't have class next month, which I think both of us will miss from a social standpoint but to be honest, I'm welcoming the academic break... this last semester was a rough one. I'm not sure Nancy's much of a writer, but I hope my note brings a smile to her face. I'm hoping we can grab a meal together or some library time or something to make up for missing class together next month so I don't have to wait until September to see her again!
I've been wanting to send Nancy a note for awhile just to tell her how great I think she is, so this week I took that opportunity. I sent some love and wished her luck on our upcoming assignments. We don't have class next month, which I think both of us will miss from a social standpoint but to be honest, I'm welcoming the academic break... this last semester was a rough one. I'm not sure Nancy's much of a writer, but I hope my note brings a smile to her face. I'm hoping we can grab a meal together or some library time or something to make up for missing class together next month so I don't have to wait until September to see her again!
Letter #95 - Jaya
This summer I got to spend an entire afternoon with Jaya while I photographed her daughter's senior portraits. Jaya is my parent's backyard neighbour, and she and her family have become good friends. I wanted to write Jaya because she is such an incredibly thoughtful woman and always sending me greetings via my mother. I miss getting to chat with her and her family as much as I used to since I got married and moved out of my parents home, but I hope that sending this note will let her know I still think of her often!
Letter #94 - Sharilyn
My mother is daughter #4 of 5 in her family. Her oldest sister Sharilyn lives out of state and I don't get to see her much. She is also a creative type, and very passionate about a lot of things in life. She's also one of the people in my life that I'm bad at keeping in regular touch with, so I decided to send her a note. I thanked her for the lovely birthday email she sent me and wished her a good summer. I don't have a very close relationship with her, but wanted to make the effort to stay in touch, I know it bothers her that she doesn't have a closer relationship with her nieces and nephews because most of us haven't lived close to her for most of our lives so I try to be conscious of that and keep in better touch.
Letter #93 - Daphne
I was raised to believe that people can in fact stay in your life forever. Not physically per se, and of course we all die eventually, but I come from a line of really great corresponders, as I've mentioned before. Daphne is a woman who has been in my life since before I took my first breath. She's the woman who delivered me. I've been thinking about her lately, and in the course of this project that normally prompts me to dig out my stationary.
Daphne is much closer friends with my parents, but when she found out I was engaged she wrote me a beautiful letter of congratulations, reflecting on some of her memories of me and my family. I decided to send her a note to just say hello and let her know she was on my mind. We share a love of cats, so I told her about our kitties and sent some photos. I love that I know the woman who delivered me. I love that I can share my life with her and tell her about the things that are going on with me, and that it's meaningful to her.
I know that Dr. Daphne is pretty good about returning letters so I am hopeful that this letter will result in a letter in my mailbox in a few weeks. We've had so much junk mail lately it would be really nice to get something personal :o)
Daphne is much closer friends with my parents, but when she found out I was engaged she wrote me a beautiful letter of congratulations, reflecting on some of her memories of me and my family. I decided to send her a note to just say hello and let her know she was on my mind. We share a love of cats, so I told her about our kitties and sent some photos. I love that I know the woman who delivered me. I love that I can share my life with her and tell her about the things that are going on with me, and that it's meaningful to her.
I know that Dr. Daphne is pretty good about returning letters so I am hopeful that this letter will result in a letter in my mailbox in a few weeks. We've had so much junk mail lately it would be really nice to get something personal :o)
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Letter #92 - Jim
I am a photographer. I haven't formally studied photography, but I have had the great privilege of having some fantastic mentors in my life who taught me a lot, and who encouraged me on my journey, and critiqued my work. About 5 years ago I decided to launch my own photography business, as a side job. The intent was always to make a little extra money doing something I love, but not committing to it full-time. Photography is a creative outlet for me, and if I'm relying on it solely for my income then it becomes more of a job, and I don't love it as much. I didn't want to force myself to fall out-of-love with my passion, so I've never pursued it full time. Even since I've been laid off I have amped up my efforts, but am still seeking full time employment that isn't photography.
Jim was one of my photo-mentors. I met Jim by accident, because he happened to have arrived early at a worship service, and I was standing at the podium with my father, hyperventilating and sobbing my heart out. I had agreed to say a prayer at the opening service of our church's world conference, and was the opening prayer before our President-Prophet preached. There were about 5000 people in attendance, plus it was being broadcasted on many of the local tv networks, and world wide on a live streaming webcast. The reality of what I had agreed to do had just sunk in, and my poor dad was trying to get me as settled as he could before the service began. I was freaking out. Jim witnessed all of this (unbeknownst to me). When the service began and I settled in my seat (alone on the rostrum with the top 3 leaders of our church at the time... no added pressure!) - I discovered that when they tell you the lights will be so bright you won't hardly see anyone, they're lying. I felt my heart catch in my throat again, and tried to look down without looking as though I was looking down. That's when I saw Jim. He gave me the biggest smile and just nodded at me. The rest of the service, I just focused on him, and his smile never broke. He got me through the entire thing and I had never even met him before.
That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and once he discovered that I had a budding interest in photography, he jumped on it and offered to critique some of my work. From then on, he would take me around church events as his assistant, until he eventually promoted me to staff photographer (a very exciting day!). He would invite me to come stay with him and his wife for a weekend to tour me around and take photos. He taught me how to use photoshop, and how to better frame a shot, and gave me tips on shooting portraits. He introduced me to his brother-in-law, another excellent photographer who also took me under his wing.
Whenever I hear from Jim I am always anxious to see what he has to say about my latest work, and eager to hear how life is treating him. He recently contacted me and asked if I would be willing to share a testimonial that he could put on his website, so I decided to send it to him long hand along with a letter.
I may not see Jim as much as I like, and I may not keep in touch as much as I used to, but he's with me every single time I pick up my camera, and I am forever grateful for that smile!
Jim was one of my photo-mentors. I met Jim by accident, because he happened to have arrived early at a worship service, and I was standing at the podium with my father, hyperventilating and sobbing my heart out. I had agreed to say a prayer at the opening service of our church's world conference, and was the opening prayer before our President-Prophet preached. There were about 5000 people in attendance, plus it was being broadcasted on many of the local tv networks, and world wide on a live streaming webcast. The reality of what I had agreed to do had just sunk in, and my poor dad was trying to get me as settled as he could before the service began. I was freaking out. Jim witnessed all of this (unbeknownst to me). When the service began and I settled in my seat (alone on the rostrum with the top 3 leaders of our church at the time... no added pressure!) - I discovered that when they tell you the lights will be so bright you won't hardly see anyone, they're lying. I felt my heart catch in my throat again, and tried to look down without looking as though I was looking down. That's when I saw Jim. He gave me the biggest smile and just nodded at me. The rest of the service, I just focused on him, and his smile never broke. He got me through the entire thing and I had never even met him before.
That was the beginning of a beautiful friendship, and once he discovered that I had a budding interest in photography, he jumped on it and offered to critique some of my work. From then on, he would take me around church events as his assistant, until he eventually promoted me to staff photographer (a very exciting day!). He would invite me to come stay with him and his wife for a weekend to tour me around and take photos. He taught me how to use photoshop, and how to better frame a shot, and gave me tips on shooting portraits. He introduced me to his brother-in-law, another excellent photographer who also took me under his wing.
Whenever I hear from Jim I am always anxious to see what he has to say about my latest work, and eager to hear how life is treating him. He recently contacted me and asked if I would be willing to share a testimonial that he could put on his website, so I decided to send it to him long hand along with a letter.
I may not see Jim as much as I like, and I may not keep in touch as much as I used to, but he's with me every single time I pick up my camera, and I am forever grateful for that smile!
Letter #91 - Amie
Everything in life is cyclical. We're born, we live, we die, and the circle continues. I have seen so many cycles in my life, not just the human life, but experiences, friendships, all kinds of cycles. Last fall, one cycle closed for my husband, but it opened a whole new series of cycles for both of us. He lost a friend of his to cancer, which was devastating to him, however as a result we were introduced to his friend's family and circle of friends, who folded us in with their love and support instantly. The result has been a whole new batch of friendships for both of us to foster and grow, and I have been so incredibly thankful for that legacy that Andy has left us.
Letter #91 is going in tomorrow's mail to Andy's daughter Amie. The first time I met Amie I saw exactly how I have always pictured myself when I will ultimately lose my dad. She was a mess. Still smiling and trying so hard to be strong and to pay tribute to his life, his wishes and all of the beautiful and wonderful things he stood for, but she was in so much pain that I just wanted to fold her into my arms and cry with her... and we had never met before. As time has passed I have seen her several other times, and while she has gotten stronger it is clear that the loss of her father has completely rocked her to her very core. Even the thought of losing my own dad puts me in touch with those emotions, and I can empathise very deeply. At the same time, she pushes to move on, to be a strong and wonderful wife and mother, and to be a friend to those who choose to be in her life... including me. While we don't spend a whole lot of time together one-on-one, I have felt a strong connection to her, and I very much hope that our friendship will continue to grow.
I decided to write Amie to send her some love and support, and to remind her that I was grateful she has entered my life, even if we aren't the closest of closest friends. She and I have tried a few times to get together and it's never quite worked out due to schedules, etc, so I reminded her of my desire to get that together sometime and for us to spend some time hanging out and just relaxing.
Letter #91 is going in tomorrow's mail to Andy's daughter Amie. The first time I met Amie I saw exactly how I have always pictured myself when I will ultimately lose my dad. She was a mess. Still smiling and trying so hard to be strong and to pay tribute to his life, his wishes and all of the beautiful and wonderful things he stood for, but she was in so much pain that I just wanted to fold her into my arms and cry with her... and we had never met before. As time has passed I have seen her several other times, and while she has gotten stronger it is clear that the loss of her father has completely rocked her to her very core. Even the thought of losing my own dad puts me in touch with those emotions, and I can empathise very deeply. At the same time, she pushes to move on, to be a strong and wonderful wife and mother, and to be a friend to those who choose to be in her life... including me. While we don't spend a whole lot of time together one-on-one, I have felt a strong connection to her, and I very much hope that our friendship will continue to grow.
I decided to write Amie to send her some love and support, and to remind her that I was grateful she has entered my life, even if we aren't the closest of closest friends. She and I have tried a few times to get together and it's never quite worked out due to schedules, etc, so I reminded her of my desire to get that together sometime and for us to spend some time hanging out and just relaxing.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Letter #90 - Rosa
This project always seems to run a little Tribe-heavy when I've had a school weekend. Rosa is another Tribe Member. (for those of you just joining us, my Masters' cohort refers to ourselves as a Tribe).
I haven't had too many opportunities to work with Rosa yet, and this weekend's class made me aware of that. She and I were assigned to a group project and I realised I don't think I've ever really worked one-on-one with her yet. I made a decision to fix that next class if I have the chance.
Rosa is another one our quiet ones (we have a few), but when she does speak up it is usually something quite profound and challenging, so I love it when I see her inch up to the edge of her seat getting ready to enter the discussion. I sent her a letter after class this past weekend to let her know how much I enjoyed the chance to work on our assignment with her, and to wish her luck on the 3 papers we have due between now and our next class.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Letter #89 - Sheila
This is not my first letter to one of my classmates from my Masters program. I love my Masters program, and our Tribe is a very close-knit group who continues to dedicate itself to supporting each others' learning journeys. This past weekend was a school weekend for me, and I shared a particularly awesome experience Sheila. The experience was so awesome I felt the need to write her a letter commending her for it and thanking her for her support.
Some people just don't like speaking in large groups. They have dozens of reasons for why, it could be stage fright, it could be an issue of prep time, it could be they have a sore throat and don't want to speak up... Sheila is usually one of these people. I have worked with her in past classes on presentations, and witnessed first hand how badly she stresses, how much time she takes writing out word-for-word what she is going to present, and how she speedily reads through it in front of the class at a volume barely above a whisper. This weekend, I made Sheila my mission.
I don't typically have a problem speaking in front of large groups of people. I get nervous like anyone else, and I have times when it's the last thing I want to do, but in general, I'm pretty comfortable in front of a crowd once I get going. My educational and professional backgrounds have both enhanced this in me. When our class is assigned group presentations, I'm the one who takes the "let's talk out the basic points and just wing it" approach. This weekend I was assigned to Sheila's group, and I decided she needed a confidence boost.
As our group prepared for our presentation, Sheila kept stressing various facts from the reading she was focused on. I could see her getting more and more worked up, so I finally sat down immediately across from her and told her she needed to chill. She looked a little taken aback, which was part of my objective. I explained to her the strength of her perspective as I saw it, and tried to minimise the importance of the presentation and the grade. I also helped her craft her message so she was focused more on the story than on the facts and numbers. She seemed to settle down a little and seemed a tad more confident, though still pretty nervous. Luck would have it our group was to present last, so Sheila sat nervously through 3 other presentations and feedback sessions, waiting for her turn to speak. Then, she NAILED it. She was calm, spoke at a reasonable volume, didn't read her script, and she told the story. She still stumbled over a few of the facts she wanted to include, but she didn't freak out and lose focus when she stumbled. It was awesome.
When our group finished and the professors were giving feedback and the class was asking questions, one of our tribe members raised her hand and said "not that you didn't all do well, but I just really want to commend Sheila for the amazing job she did... what a huge improvement from the first time we ever heard her share in class!" Sheila was beaming. I was so excited for her.
My letter was pretty simple. I told her how awesome it was for me to watch her grow in skill and confidence, and reminded her of the important role she plays in our tribe.
Some people just don't like speaking in large groups. They have dozens of reasons for why, it could be stage fright, it could be an issue of prep time, it could be they have a sore throat and don't want to speak up... Sheila is usually one of these people. I have worked with her in past classes on presentations, and witnessed first hand how badly she stresses, how much time she takes writing out word-for-word what she is going to present, and how she speedily reads through it in front of the class at a volume barely above a whisper. This weekend, I made Sheila my mission.
I don't typically have a problem speaking in front of large groups of people. I get nervous like anyone else, and I have times when it's the last thing I want to do, but in general, I'm pretty comfortable in front of a crowd once I get going. My educational and professional backgrounds have both enhanced this in me. When our class is assigned group presentations, I'm the one who takes the "let's talk out the basic points and just wing it" approach. This weekend I was assigned to Sheila's group, and I decided she needed a confidence boost.
As our group prepared for our presentation, Sheila kept stressing various facts from the reading she was focused on. I could see her getting more and more worked up, so I finally sat down immediately across from her and told her she needed to chill. She looked a little taken aback, which was part of my objective. I explained to her the strength of her perspective as I saw it, and tried to minimise the importance of the presentation and the grade. I also helped her craft her message so she was focused more on the story than on the facts and numbers. She seemed to settle down a little and seemed a tad more confident, though still pretty nervous. Luck would have it our group was to present last, so Sheila sat nervously through 3 other presentations and feedback sessions, waiting for her turn to speak. Then, she NAILED it. She was calm, spoke at a reasonable volume, didn't read her script, and she told the story. She still stumbled over a few of the facts she wanted to include, but she didn't freak out and lose focus when she stumbled. It was awesome.
When our group finished and the professors were giving feedback and the class was asking questions, one of our tribe members raised her hand and said "not that you didn't all do well, but I just really want to commend Sheila for the amazing job she did... what a huge improvement from the first time we ever heard her share in class!" Sheila was beaming. I was so excited for her.
My letter was pretty simple. I told her how awesome it was for me to watch her grow in skill and confidence, and reminded her of the important role she plays in our tribe.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Letter #88 - Jenn
I often find myself reflecting on where relationships I am in, or have had came from. How they developed into what they are now. Jenn is one of those friends that I can trace the timeline of our friendship, but I can't ever quite trace the way in which our friendship deepened the way it did. Jenn is one of those friends that just simply is, and I love her dearly for it. Jenn has been on my mind quite a bit lately as she has been a great source of support for me these last several months, so I decided to send her a letter to tell her how much I love her and how glad I am to have her as a friend.
Jenn and I technically met when we were both still in high school, as we attended the same Senior High Church Camp, but we didn't really hang with the same circles, and she was a few years ahead of me and headed off to college. Our lives crossed paths again a few years later when I myself started college and there was Jenn. We both attended Michigan State University and shared several years with her there. During that time we shared in worship, in meals, in travel and in many many craft nights, impromptu movie nights and late night dessert runs.
I was thrilled when she moved back to Michigan after completing her masters degree and working for several years out of state, and have greatly enjoyed the last year getting to see her more frequently and rekindle our friendship. I hope my letter gives her even the slightest indication of how much she means to me, because she's freaking amazing.
Jenn and I technically met when we were both still in high school, as we attended the same Senior High Church Camp, but we didn't really hang with the same circles, and she was a few years ahead of me and headed off to college. Our lives crossed paths again a few years later when I myself started college and there was Jenn. We both attended Michigan State University and shared several years with her there. During that time we shared in worship, in meals, in travel and in many many craft nights, impromptu movie nights and late night dessert runs.
I was thrilled when she moved back to Michigan after completing her masters degree and working for several years out of state, and have greatly enjoyed the last year getting to see her more frequently and rekindle our friendship. I hope my letter gives her even the slightest indication of how much she means to me, because she's freaking amazing.
Letter #87 - Erin
I've moved. A lot. This means I've lived a lot of places, and had a lot of neighbours and a lot of friends. Erin is the first neighbour that I have any memories of, and also one of my first friends that I can remember. I turned 4 the week my family moved to Independence Missouri (my birthday has been almost exclusively spent mid-move or at a church camp) and Erin lived across the street. During our time there we would spend our days playing in each others' yards, creating dance and gymnastics routines in her basement, climbing trees at my house, or coming up with craft projects. We had countless sleepovers which always involved makeovers and movies and lots and lots of snacks and giggling. As we grew older and the trips back to Missouri became less and less frequent, we got worse at keeping tabs on each other. That never seemed to matter when we came face to face though and we would spend what little time we had together trying to catch up on jobs, classes, boys and music... more giggling, more dreaming, and lots of reminiscing.
Last year I got to spend some more time with Erin and I was so excited to learn that she had just gotten engaged. More giggling and girly stuff as we talked about my upcoming wedding and ideas for hers... more boys... more giggling. When the invitation to her wedding arrived I was so sad to have to RSVP no. Between a severe lack of finances, and having my masters class that weekend it just wasn't possible. I found myself thinking about her all week leading up to her big day, and the day of my mind kept wandering and wondering where she was at that point in the day, and what she was doing, and whether she was married yet... I wished so badly I could have been there. So instead, I wrote her a long letter. It got a bit mushy I will admit but come on... one of my earliest childhood friends got married just 9 months (to the day!) after me... I was bound to get sentimental!
Her younger sister is getting married in a month as well, and I unfortunately (for the same reasons) can't attend hers either... but I am hopeful that maybe in a year or so the world will have changed in such a way that maybe our paths can cross again and there will be more movies, more makeovers, and more giggling.
Letter #86 - Tilly
Bet you thought I abandoned this project! No, no, I've just been crazy busy and a little lazy the last month and a half. Beware, this means I'm in for some SERIOUS catching up in the next few weeks...
Letter #86 went out to my aunt Tilly. I've indicated before that I've never been geographically close to most of my family. Auntie Til and her clan were also usually not geographically close, so growing up she was kind of like the aunt I knew existed but had only met a handful of times, and really didn't know very well. I still can't really say I know her *well* but I've had the opportunity to get to know her better as I've grown up, and as that side of the family has renewed intentional get togethers over the last few years. Over Easter we all decided to get together on fairly short notice. I was pleased that my family and my husband and I were able to make arrangements so we were able to be there. It was the first time Auntie Til got to meet my husband, so it was nice to get to introduce him to another family member.
Til is the youngest of 5 on my dad's side of the family. As such, I've heard dozens of stories growing up about the trouble she got everyone else into (don't worry Auntie Til I take it all in context of the source!) :o) I decided to write her so I could include a few prints of the family photos I shot at our Easter get together. Oma has reached the age where we're all playing the "don't know how many more times we'll have a chance for big family portraits like this" game, so I sent Oma a few of the photos, and sent a few to Auntie Til as well.
I received a message from her this week saying she had received them and how glad she was to hear from me and to get the photos so I'm glad I was able to send them.
Letter #86 went out to my aunt Tilly. I've indicated before that I've never been geographically close to most of my family. Auntie Til and her clan were also usually not geographically close, so growing up she was kind of like the aunt I knew existed but had only met a handful of times, and really didn't know very well. I still can't really say I know her *well* but I've had the opportunity to get to know her better as I've grown up, and as that side of the family has renewed intentional get togethers over the last few years. Over Easter we all decided to get together on fairly short notice. I was pleased that my family and my husband and I were able to make arrangements so we were able to be there. It was the first time Auntie Til got to meet my husband, so it was nice to get to introduce him to another family member.
Til is the youngest of 5 on my dad's side of the family. As such, I've heard dozens of stories growing up about the trouble she got everyone else into (don't worry Auntie Til I take it all in context of the source!) :o) I decided to write her so I could include a few prints of the family photos I shot at our Easter get together. Oma has reached the age where we're all playing the "don't know how many more times we'll have a chance for big family portraits like this" game, so I sent Oma a few of the photos, and sent a few to Auntie Til as well.
I received a message from her this week saying she had received them and how glad she was to hear from me and to get the photos so I'm glad I was able to send them.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Letter #85 - Travis
I LOVE the name Travis. In fact, if I have a son someday, it's pretty high up on my list of potential names. I have a cousin named Travis, and a good friend of the family named Travis. Today's letter went to the latter.
What's funny is I hit the period before the "r" and so a second ago that last sentence read "latte." it's funny because Travis is a manager at Starbucks. Ok so it's funny to me.
Moving on.
My father spent the majority of my life working as full time clergy for our church. Full time clergy in our church go by the title of "Appointee". As a result, I am what is dubbed an Appointee Kid. This life is as enriching as it can be frustrating. The blessings I've had from being an Appointee Kid (AK) include having lived all over the world, having met hundreds of interesting and wonderful people, having traveled the world and learned all kinds of cool cultures, and having created bonds with other Appointee Kids. Travis is also an AK. He's older than me, so we didn't grow up attending the same camps or church functions together, but our parents worked together and were very good friends (his father performed my wedding last year). As a result, Trav and I share a bond that is unique and very meaningful to me. While we've had our own ups and downs with that life, we can understand each other on a different level, even though we may not be BFFs. We also share an interesting take on church life and spirituality because of our upbringings being so close to the church. Most people would assume this means we are either goody two shoes, or complete rebels, but mostly we fall somewhere in the middle... with deep senses of personal spirituality and a deep appreciation for the culture and community of our church while still finding ourselves somewhat skeptical and frustrated with the politics and challenges that come with running any organisation. Appointee Kids tend to see a different side of the church than most people. We see the good, but we also see the dirty underbelly. We have to learn to maintain a delicate balance so that we can operate within the community of the church, but still separate the business and frustration from our spiritual selves so we can try and avoid becoming complete cynics. Most of us are reasonably successful at walking this line, and I think almost all of us waver from time to time on one side or the other of the line.
That's why maintaining our AK bonds are important, because we help support each other during the frustrating and wavering times. Travis and I will always have a special bond, and my letter to him was to reach out and remind him of that. Also to thank him for making time for my husband and I when we were in his neck of the woods a few weeks back. It was great to see him for awhile and to get to spend some time catching up and just shooting the breeze (and eating Mexican food lol)
Travis, you rock buddy. I love ya!
What's funny is I hit the period before the "r" and so a second ago that last sentence read "latte." it's funny because Travis is a manager at Starbucks. Ok so it's funny to me.
Moving on.
My father spent the majority of my life working as full time clergy for our church. Full time clergy in our church go by the title of "Appointee". As a result, I am what is dubbed an Appointee Kid. This life is as enriching as it can be frustrating. The blessings I've had from being an Appointee Kid (AK) include having lived all over the world, having met hundreds of interesting and wonderful people, having traveled the world and learned all kinds of cool cultures, and having created bonds with other Appointee Kids. Travis is also an AK. He's older than me, so we didn't grow up attending the same camps or church functions together, but our parents worked together and were very good friends (his father performed my wedding last year). As a result, Trav and I share a bond that is unique and very meaningful to me. While we've had our own ups and downs with that life, we can understand each other on a different level, even though we may not be BFFs. We also share an interesting take on church life and spirituality because of our upbringings being so close to the church. Most people would assume this means we are either goody two shoes, or complete rebels, but mostly we fall somewhere in the middle... with deep senses of personal spirituality and a deep appreciation for the culture and community of our church while still finding ourselves somewhat skeptical and frustrated with the politics and challenges that come with running any organisation. Appointee Kids tend to see a different side of the church than most people. We see the good, but we also see the dirty underbelly. We have to learn to maintain a delicate balance so that we can operate within the community of the church, but still separate the business and frustration from our spiritual selves so we can try and avoid becoming complete cynics. Most of us are reasonably successful at walking this line, and I think almost all of us waver from time to time on one side or the other of the line.
That's why maintaining our AK bonds are important, because we help support each other during the frustrating and wavering times. Travis and I will always have a special bond, and my letter to him was to reach out and remind him of that. Also to thank him for making time for my husband and I when we were in his neck of the woods a few weeks back. It was great to see him for awhile and to get to spend some time catching up and just shooting the breeze (and eating Mexican food lol)
Travis, you rock buddy. I love ya!
Letter #84 - Laura
This project takes my mind on interesting turns. I will occasionally make myself a little list of the next 5-10 letters I want to write, and I almost never end up writing exactly those letters to exactly those people in exactly that order. In fact, I often end up writing letters to completely different people... Laura is one such letter.
I don't know Laura very well. We attended some of the same church camps, but her brother is the one who is a huge part of my life. Laura lives in another state, she's married and has 3 kids, she shows up regularly in my Facebook news feed, and yet we don't know much else about each other, and we don't converse much other than the occasional Facebook comment. We do, however, share a need for saving as much money as we can. I had commented at some point about coupons, and she remarked that she collects baby related coupons from wherever she can get them. I don't have any babies yet, so when I go through my coupons I try to keep my eyes open for ones she may be able to use. I don't always remember her, but this week I did, and so along with the coupons I stuck in the mail for her I also attempted to write a letter that said a little more than "here ya go". I don't know if Laura and I will ever establish a relationship or friendship beyond where we are now, and that's ok either way, but it was a good exercise for me to write a letter to someone I know just a little. I hope the coupons help her out, and I hope my letter makes her feel good, even if it's just for a bit that day. She seems like a nice girl, and she deserves to have a reminder that someone is thinking of her now and then :o)
I don't know Laura very well. We attended some of the same church camps, but her brother is the one who is a huge part of my life. Laura lives in another state, she's married and has 3 kids, she shows up regularly in my Facebook news feed, and yet we don't know much else about each other, and we don't converse much other than the occasional Facebook comment. We do, however, share a need for saving as much money as we can. I had commented at some point about coupons, and she remarked that she collects baby related coupons from wherever she can get them. I don't have any babies yet, so when I go through my coupons I try to keep my eyes open for ones she may be able to use. I don't always remember her, but this week I did, and so along with the coupons I stuck in the mail for her I also attempted to write a letter that said a little more than "here ya go". I don't know if Laura and I will ever establish a relationship or friendship beyond where we are now, and that's ok either way, but it was a good exercise for me to write a letter to someone I know just a little. I hope the coupons help her out, and I hope my letter makes her feel good, even if it's just for a bit that day. She seems like a nice girl, and she deserves to have a reminder that someone is thinking of her now and then :o)
Letter #83 - Ginger
I have lived with a lot of people. Mostly because the last few years of undergrad I was living in a house that was home to 12 students... many of which were different each year I was there. Ginger was one of my roommates at the house and I absolutely loved her. Ginger is everything a redhead named Ginger should be... fiery, independent, strong willed, passionate, and a touch crazy. We made great roommates and she got me hooked on the wonderful world of Joss Whedon. Ginger and I share a dark sense of humour, and she not only brought it out in me, but helped me realise it was ok to let that part of my personality out. We don't keep in very regular contact, but we have the kind of relationship where that's ok, and when we *are* in touch it's like we still live together almost.
I wanted to write to Ginger because I have been thinking about her a lot this week, and reflecting on the impact she had on my life as a friend and as a roommate. I wanted to verbalise some things to her that I never had before, and thank her for being so awesome. She lives in another state now, and we've both gotten married since the last time we saw each other... I really hope at some point we can get together with our spouses and hang out and catch up again, but for now I'll make do with my letter and sending her a whole lot of love. I hope my letter brings a smile to her face, and let's her reminisce for a bit about our shenanigans together when we were roommies :o)
I wanted to write to Ginger because I have been thinking about her a lot this week, and reflecting on the impact she had on my life as a friend and as a roommate. I wanted to verbalise some things to her that I never had before, and thank her for being so awesome. She lives in another state now, and we've both gotten married since the last time we saw each other... I really hope at some point we can get together with our spouses and hang out and catch up again, but for now I'll make do with my letter and sending her a whole lot of love. I hope my letter brings a smile to her face, and let's her reminisce for a bit about our shenanigans together when we were roommies :o)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Letter #82 - Alexei
When I was in college I worked in the cafeteria in my dorm for a couple of years. My first semester I met Alexei, a Russian grad student who was also working in the caf. Alexei and I hit it off almost instantly, and truth be told I had a big crush on him until we discovered he was 10 years older than me and that was just too big a gap at that life stage. Age and crush aside, we had SO MUCH FUN working together, he has an awesome sense of humour and we would just laugh and laugh through our entire shift whenever we worked together. We would also try to get our breaks together so we could keep the conversation going.
Before I even finished my time at school Alex and I lost touch. When I moved off campus and he stopped working at the caf we drifted and lost track of each other. Until last month. I received a message in my inbox on Facebook asking if I was the same Rachel from Case Hall Caf... I was floored. Here was my crazy Russian again, I was so excited to hear from him! Alex is back in Russia now and I was glad to hear he is doing well and updates on his life. I asked for his address (snail mail) so I could make him a part of this project and today's mail is carrying off a letter to Russia with greetings, updates and photos!
I look forward to hearing back from him, whether online or via snail mail, I hope the letter arrives alright, he said Russian mail service can be pretty shady sometimes. In any case it's been very cool reconnecting with such a cool old friend :o)
Before I even finished my time at school Alex and I lost touch. When I moved off campus and he stopped working at the caf we drifted and lost track of each other. Until last month. I received a message in my inbox on Facebook asking if I was the same Rachel from Case Hall Caf... I was floored. Here was my crazy Russian again, I was so excited to hear from him! Alex is back in Russia now and I was glad to hear he is doing well and updates on his life. I asked for his address (snail mail) so I could make him a part of this project and today's mail is carrying off a letter to Russia with greetings, updates and photos!
I look forward to hearing back from him, whether online or via snail mail, I hope the letter arrives alright, he said Russian mail service can be pretty shady sometimes. In any case it's been very cool reconnecting with such a cool old friend :o)
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Letter #81 - Granny
When I met my husband I was so excited to also meet his grandparents. I lost both of my grandfathers by age 10, and one of my grandmothers when I was in college. I never really lived very close to any of them for long so I always felt as if I got a little gypped when it came to having a relationship with my grandparents like some people do. My husband had those relationships and when I met him he still had three living grandparents. By the time we got married her had lost two of them and is now down to just Granny.
Granny is simply awesome. She is fiercely independent (slowly less so as hip replacements and knee surgeries slow her down) and has a fantastic sense of humour. I decided to send her a note because I would like to continue to develop my relationship with her. She adores her family (4 sons, 3 daughter in laws, a dozen grandkids plus their spouses and a couple of great-grandchildren...!) I sent her some photos from our wedding, from our honeymoon, and of our kitties, along with well wishes and some updates on things going on in our lives right now. I actually hesitated before sealing the envelope, thinking I should let my husband add his own stuff too, then decided he really didn't have to and this could be allowed to just be mine.
Granny is simply awesome. She is fiercely independent (slowly less so as hip replacements and knee surgeries slow her down) and has a fantastic sense of humour. I decided to send her a note because I would like to continue to develop my relationship with her. She adores her family (4 sons, 3 daughter in laws, a dozen grandkids plus their spouses and a couple of great-grandchildren...!) I sent her some photos from our wedding, from our honeymoon, and of our kitties, along with well wishes and some updates on things going on in our lives right now. I actually hesitated before sealing the envelope, thinking I should let my husband add his own stuff too, then decided he really didn't have to and this could be allowed to just be mine.
Letter #80 - Joey
I've mentioned before how I have a number of adopted family members, including quite a few siblings. Joey is one of my adopted brothers. When my family lived in the Netherlands, he actually lived with us for a few months and became a part of the family. Joey is quite simply a force of nature. His love for life is so incredibly infectious, and he is an incredibly gifted musician. His vocals and piano playing can move me to tears... in fact when it came to picking music for my wedding last fall there was no question in my mind that Joey had to be a part of it. My husband had written a song for me, which we chose for me to walk down the aisle to and Joey (along with a couple of our other musician friends) created the most incredible instrumental version of it to play live... it was so amazing!
Recently I have been going through this serious musical nostalgic phase and listening to all kinds of stuff that I listened to as a teenie bopper... Joey was living with us during that time and so I've been thinking of him a lot. We used to have these awesome singing parties with each other, and he would crash my piano practice sessions and play all the pop songs while I'd sing with him. I decided it was as good a reason as any to send him some love and so I did. Just thinking about Joey makes me smile... I've shared so many huge life moments with him, and so many small life moments that add up to huge ones. He has had a really big influence on my life and how I try to live and how I try to carry myself, and I am so incredibly grateful for that influence and his friendship and love!
Recently I have been going through this serious musical nostalgic phase and listening to all kinds of stuff that I listened to as a teenie bopper... Joey was living with us during that time and so I've been thinking of him a lot. We used to have these awesome singing parties with each other, and he would crash my piano practice sessions and play all the pop songs while I'd sing with him. I decided it was as good a reason as any to send him some love and so I did. Just thinking about Joey makes me smile... I've shared so many huge life moments with him, and so many small life moments that add up to huge ones. He has had a really big influence on my life and how I try to live and how I try to carry myself, and I am so incredibly grateful for that influence and his friendship and love!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Letter #79 - Karin
I'm weird about high school. Most people grow more nostalgic for it as time goes by. I grow less so. High school wasn't necessarily bad for me, but it wasn't necessarily great for me either. I remember even at the time thinking "this is what people remember as their best years? no thanks..." At the time, I didn't really expect that 10 years down the road I would still be BFFs with all of these people. That turned out to be mostly true. Except for Karin. Karin turned out to be one of those friends that you just keep finding your way back to, then wonder why you ever drifted off in the first place. In the past year Karin and I have actually grown closer as were planning our weddings six months apart. She nearly lived with me for a few days leading up to her own wedding, and I took a stinger in the tongue for her. (I shot her engagement portraits... at a cider mill with ninja bees... who stung me on the tip of my tongue).
I intentionally held off on including Karin in this project until she'd had some time to recover from what I call wedding madness... so she could enjoy the card and not have to file it away so she wouldn't forget which gift it came with, or who to send the thank you note to :o) Mostly I just wanted her to get some fun mail addressed to Mrs Gordon coz I'm 7 months into my marriage and seeing my new name on stuff still makes me grin!
I intentionally held off on including Karin in this project until she'd had some time to recover from what I call wedding madness... so she could enjoy the card and not have to file it away so she wouldn't forget which gift it came with, or who to send the thank you note to :o) Mostly I just wanted her to get some fun mail addressed to Mrs Gordon coz I'm 7 months into my marriage and seeing my new name on stuff still makes me grin!
Letter #78 - John
I am simply in love with some of my friends. Not romantically, but still deeply in love. John is one of these friends. Just seeing his name in my contact list on my phone makes me smile. John also has the honour being my only true college friend. I have lots of friends from when I was in college, but of those the only ones that have lasted were ones born out of roommates and church connections. No random "oh we met at a party" or "we used to study in the same lounge" or anything like that... except John. We had one gloriously lame intro to teaching class together and it was almost instantly love. He is insane... exactly the brand of insane I admire, support and occasionally mirror. He is exactly the kind of guy I can call up and say "Bob Barker, this weekend, my house" and he shows up dressed the part (this actually happened). He shares my love of Bon Jovi, my amusement of the 80s, and my love of life. Then the bastard moved to New York. So I sent him a letter to remind him of how much I love him, and to tell him I miss him so he won't forget to visit the next time he's in town. Because I am simply in love with some of my friends, and John is one of them.
Letter #77 - Noreen
My old job was amazing. I'm pretty sure I've said that before, but it bears repeating. I loved my boss, I loved my job, even on the tough days. One of the biggest things I loved about my job was that I got to meet SO MANY cool people... one of whom was Noreen. Noreen is simply awesome and I decided to write her because I really miss getting to see her. She always had neat perspectives on things and I miss getting to chat with her and hear how she sees things.
Letter #76 - Nancy
There are occasionally people in my life who trade places with me in a way. Last summer I spent some time with my friend Nancy, soaking in her stories and advice about being a newlywed and starting out life with next to nothing... borrowing furniture, living in someone else's house and loving life amid the stress. she was mentoring me, trying to set me up for success in my new upcoming life adventure.
Cut to not even 6 months later and she's boarding a plane to Brazil with her family to begin 2-3 year expat assignment with her husband's company... a role I filled (as a child, not a spouse) nearly 2 decades ago. Turn around is fair play, so I have tried to keep in touch with her and give her my own stories and advice about moving into a foreign culture, where no one can speak the language yet, and you need help to even learn how to pay your bills or go grocery shopping!
Writing to Nancy brought back the newness of my own experiences, which is something that's usually very difficult to recall on my own. Rotterdam became so much a part of my own life and culture it can be hard to remember when it was strange and new and scary. I used my letter to be encouraging in an honest way. She and I can relate on a new level now, which just makes me appreciate our friendship even more!
Cut to not even 6 months later and she's boarding a plane to Brazil with her family to begin 2-3 year expat assignment with her husband's company... a role I filled (as a child, not a spouse) nearly 2 decades ago. Turn around is fair play, so I have tried to keep in touch with her and give her my own stories and advice about moving into a foreign culture, where no one can speak the language yet, and you need help to even learn how to pay your bills or go grocery shopping!
Writing to Nancy brought back the newness of my own experiences, which is something that's usually very difficult to recall on my own. Rotterdam became so much a part of my own life and culture it can be hard to remember when it was strange and new and scary. I used my letter to be encouraging in an honest way. She and I can relate on a new level now, which just makes me appreciate our friendship even more!
Letter #75 - Steffan
Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow. But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
These words are a part of the very beginning of the story that wove Steffan into my life. His father was my grade four teacher. I've written about his dad before in this blog, but last year I got the opportunity to get to know Steffan as more than the toddler I met so many years ago!
My husband and I were traveling with my family last year around the holidays and stayed a night at Steffan's home with his family. It had been so long since I'd seen Sergio's kids, I wasn't sure what to expect. Turns out they're both awesome and that Steffan and I have similar movie *and* cereal tastes. Steffan was an incredible host (not a common trait among most guys his age in my experience) and spent all evening hanging out with us and chatting. There were many reasons I with that stay had been longer, and getting to know Steffan was one of those reasons. We've since connected on facebook, but it kept coming to me that he may just appreciate one of my notes, and so off I sent one. Since I'm so far behind on the blogging part of this project, he has already received his letter and I received an incredibly kind note back from him. I think we may actually start kickin' an old school style pen pal relationship, which I think is just awesome. Like father like son... I just love the Tirolese men! :o)
Letter #74 - Finian
I've always had a thing for blonds, or rather, blonds seem to have always had a thing for me. Many of my crushes were blonds, and most of my boyfriends were blond, and all of my marriage proposals were from blonds... one from a two year old, one from a three year old and one from my husband. Finian was the three year old. I think he's managed to get over the heartache of losing me to someone my own age though, and is more concerned with girls his own age now (he is quickly approaching teenagerdom). Even though wedded bliss wasn't in the cards for us, Finn will always hold a special place in my heart. In fact, this summer he gets to be my 'camp son' for a week and I'm thrilled to have the chance to hang out with him! Finn is one of those kids who has a good heart but often seems to just get into complex and unfair life situations. The past several months we have been able to grow our friendship a bit more, and I have forged an unexpected, yet lovely relationship with his mother. I sent him a letter because I thought it might send a deeper message of caring than an FB post on his wall, and I hope that message carries through. I am proud of his values but I think he is entering an age where he will face possibly even cruel scrutiny for standing by those values. High school can be incredibly harsh for kids who are unique, and I hope I can become an extra branch in his support system to help him flourish into the incredible guy he's already becoming.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Letter #73 - Aunt Pam
I've mentioned that I'm not always the best granddaugher. I'm also not always the best niece. My aunts on my mum's side of the family got my grandma's writing gene. They send cards at least monthly (often times more frequently than that) they send little gifts with each holiday, they drop things off for me that they were getting rid of and thought I may want, or things they just happened to see out somewhere that they picked up... they really are great at keeping in touch and letting me know how much they love me and that they think of me often. I am not good at returning the favour. I almost always get a thank you note in the mail for gifts or unexpected hand me downs, but beyond that I'm not usually good at just popping a note in the mail to say hi. Today I decided to work on that. So Aunt Pam gets letter #73.
Aunt Pam is sister #2 of 5 in my mum's family. She loves dogs and used to take my cousin and I shopping all the time. She is an incredible bargain shopper and would get us the best deals on really great clothes, jewelry and makeup. She would always be giving us these goody bags of freebies she would get places, and shared her fine jewelry collection with us. Her husband passed away a few years ago and life changed dramatically. As a result, I've been even worse at keeping in touch with her, something I feel badly about but haven't really known how to remedy very well.
I sent her a note today pretty much just to say hi. I included some photos of our kitties as she often sends us treats for them, and a photo of my husband and I from our honeymoon, since she hasn't gotten to see any of those photos yet. I really hope the letter catches her on a good day, and brings a smile to her face to know I've been thinking about her. The anniversary of my Uncle's death is coming up soon, so I know that's weighing on her. It has been extremely difficult on her coming to terms with losing him (understandably so!)
Aunt Pam is sister #2 of 5 in my mum's family. She loves dogs and used to take my cousin and I shopping all the time. She is an incredible bargain shopper and would get us the best deals on really great clothes, jewelry and makeup. She would always be giving us these goody bags of freebies she would get places, and shared her fine jewelry collection with us. Her husband passed away a few years ago and life changed dramatically. As a result, I've been even worse at keeping in touch with her, something I feel badly about but haven't really known how to remedy very well.
I sent her a note today pretty much just to say hi. I included some photos of our kitties as she often sends us treats for them, and a photo of my husband and I from our honeymoon, since she hasn't gotten to see any of those photos yet. I really hope the letter catches her on a good day, and brings a smile to her face to know I've been thinking about her. The anniversary of my Uncle's death is coming up soon, so I know that's weighing on her. It has been extremely difficult on her coming to terms with losing him (understandably so!)
Letter #72 - Matt
I am not a polygamist and yet I have two husbands. I have the man I married and live with, and I have Matt. Matt is my "camp husband"... in fact my legal husband is the one who dubbed him such, and almost formally signs me over to Matt when he drops me off at camp (he usually can't stay for the whole week).
Matt is responsible for my official introduction to my husband because the summer we met, Matt was a little starstruck by my husband and insisted I be the one to ask him to come hang out with us for the afternoon. As a result there was endless laughter, and my husband (to be) asked for my number in the walmart parking lot (you just can't make this stuff up)
I created and now run a huge photo program at our church family camp every summer. I started it out of sheer boredom one year, and it has turned into a staple component and significant fundraiser, it's pretty awesome. Matt has been with me since about year 2 of this and the amount of time we spend together at camp, it's no wonder he's been dubbed my camp husband :o)
Matt is an incredible guy, I adore him. He's dependable, creative, silly (which is important at 3AM), and a super sweetheart. He is also a spiritual rock for me, even if he doesn't know it. His faith and unwavering dedication to his faith inspire me constantly. His willingness to stay up until all hours of the night, even if his work is done, just to keep me from going crazy, is beyond appreciated. His ability to take the brunt of our last day activities so I can sleep in a little (I still usually send him to bed at some point before me on our last night) is saintly. The fact that even though he moved out of state after our first year together at camp, he still saves his vacation time and pays all that extra money in travel expenses to be there as part of my team is simply awesome. In fact, he did the same to spend his birthday with us last fall to celebrate our wedding.
About this time every year I start to get excited about camp, thinking up new ways of hopefully letting us get more sleep, and looking forward to more late-night silliness with Matt (such as roasting marshmallows over votive candles, or watching Sister Act 2 for the millionth time, or covering almost every square inch of visible skin in washable markers...) Usually this eagerness results in increased texting and facebooking, but this year I decided to also send him a letter. Writing him made me ever more excited for camp to come, because this year we will have a bit larger team, and I'm hoping my real husband will be there with us as well...
Matty I love you to bits... thank you for everything you do to support me, and to support our amazing squad, and just for generally being AMAZING. Can't wait to see you in a few months!!!
Matt is responsible for my official introduction to my husband because the summer we met, Matt was a little starstruck by my husband and insisted I be the one to ask him to come hang out with us for the afternoon. As a result there was endless laughter, and my husband (to be) asked for my number in the walmart parking lot (you just can't make this stuff up)
I created and now run a huge photo program at our church family camp every summer. I started it out of sheer boredom one year, and it has turned into a staple component and significant fundraiser, it's pretty awesome. Matt has been with me since about year 2 of this and the amount of time we spend together at camp, it's no wonder he's been dubbed my camp husband :o)
Matt is an incredible guy, I adore him. He's dependable, creative, silly (which is important at 3AM), and a super sweetheart. He is also a spiritual rock for me, even if he doesn't know it. His faith and unwavering dedication to his faith inspire me constantly. His willingness to stay up until all hours of the night, even if his work is done, just to keep me from going crazy, is beyond appreciated. His ability to take the brunt of our last day activities so I can sleep in a little (I still usually send him to bed at some point before me on our last night) is saintly. The fact that even though he moved out of state after our first year together at camp, he still saves his vacation time and pays all that extra money in travel expenses to be there as part of my team is simply awesome. In fact, he did the same to spend his birthday with us last fall to celebrate our wedding.
About this time every year I start to get excited about camp, thinking up new ways of hopefully letting us get more sleep, and looking forward to more late-night silliness with Matt (such as roasting marshmallows over votive candles, or watching Sister Act 2 for the millionth time, or covering almost every square inch of visible skin in washable markers...) Usually this eagerness results in increased texting and facebooking, but this year I decided to also send him a letter. Writing him made me ever more excited for camp to come, because this year we will have a bit larger team, and I'm hoping my real husband will be there with us as well...
Matty I love you to bits... thank you for everything you do to support me, and to support our amazing squad, and just for generally being AMAZING. Can't wait to see you in a few months!!!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Letter Responses
I have received a few responses from people who have been recipients of letters from this project thus far, and most have been these incredibly sincere notes, sent with much love, much thought, and much gratitude. This response I received this evening is no exception to this, except that it goes above and beyond in effort and dedication as a blog reader. I was so impressed, touched, and blown away by the ending to this note... I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did :o)
Why am I writing this? Don't laugh. Our youngest dog tends to eat mail. He ate your letter and i have been painstakingly rebuilding it from the pieces to where I can read it and I am almost there. I should finish it when I get home this weekend. And then I can actually read it!
i have a confession to make...
...I love your snail mail letter campaign. I am honored to be a part of it. My family has a strong connection with a couple of families from the town I grew up in that have spanned about 6 generations and we still have regular clan gatherings. The matriarch of the real driving family in the clan once told me that letters are a part of our soul. They are better than phone calls because you can touch and read them over and over again and they have permanence and phone calls don't. I have always honored that and do so more in the email world where writing has become passe. Her husband, who passed away in 1990 (she passed in 2004), is easily the most influential person in my life but she is a close second. I still make most decisions based upon what they would think of what I am doing. It is easy to say if you like my values, you have them to thank for them.Why am I writing this? Don't laugh. Our youngest dog tends to eat mail. He ate your letter and i have been painstakingly rebuilding it from the pieces to where I can read it and I am almost there. I should finish it when I get home this weekend. And then I can actually read it!
Letter #71 - Xander
I've mentioned before I have a lot of "adopted" family. Xander is also a member of this group. He is my dutch big brother and I miss him a whole bunch. I've been thinking about his family a lot lately (he has a son who has West Syndrome) so I sent him some love. When my family lived in Rotterdam, Xander started out as our gardener/handyman and quickly evolved into part of the family. He would come over and spend time with us, help us figure out cultural challenges, keep my brother and I entertained and (mostly) out of trouble, and more. When my family got to return to Rotterdam to visit in 2006 it was great to be able to meet his wife Patricia, then when my husband and I (boyfriend at the time) went to visit in 2008, we got to meet his son.
Writing to Xander allowed me to remember all of the things I love about him and his family. I have so many great memories of time with him... from goofing off and singing loudly as a kid to more grown up conversations and glasses of wine as an adult. I adore him, his wife is awesome and their son is simply amazing. I hope my letter brings him as many happy memories as it did for me in writing it!
Writing to Xander allowed me to remember all of the things I love about him and his family. I have so many great memories of time with him... from goofing off and singing loudly as a kid to more grown up conversations and glasses of wine as an adult. I adore him, his wife is awesome and their son is simply amazing. I hope my letter brings him as many happy memories as it did for me in writing it!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Letter #70 - Joan
As a general rule, I am not very good with "old" people. By this I mean anyone who has white or grey hair but has also lost any or all of their mental capacity. I don't say this to be mean, I don't feel they are any less important, I'm just not always good at communicating with them, which is odd because I'm great with kids and there are often parallels in the communication style needed. I guess it's partially just that - I'm always worried they'll think I'm talking down to them, or that I'm being disrespectful. I have a hard time separating their age & life experiences from the mental state they may be in. My brother, on the other hand, is amazing with this group. He's like a god in nursing homes... it's incredible to watch.
My husband and I have a neighbour who is teetering into this category. She's still pretty sharp mentally, but she I get the feeling she is excruciatingly lonely. She also isn't afraid to ask for help... a lot. While this is a good thing, it can also be frustrating for me because sometimes her requests cut into my plans and I don't feel any emotional obligation to her. *That* may sound bad, but I'm being brave and going with honesty. I'm not proud of these feelings, but they are there. This week Joan called me late one evening while I was in the middle of working on a research paper. I almost didn't answer, but decided at the last second that if she was calling this late it may be an emergency and I knew I would feel awful if I found out the next day she had needed to get to the hospital or something worse and I didn't pick up the phone. She was fine, she just wanted to know if we could take her trash out. That didn't bother me, it was the 30 minute conversation that ensued about why the complex changed the dumpsters again and didn't they think about the fact that people like her can't haul their trash up over their heads to dump it in, and her plan for talking to them about just that... in great detail.
Remember the part where I was in the middle of writing a paper? I don't have it in me to be rude, so I stayed on the phone until she was ready to hang up, but I was a little annoyed. As she hung up she told me that she would hang a bag with some cookies on her door for us because she had bought some (insert another long story with unnecessary details such as which area of the store these cookies are located in and roughly how much they cost and how often she is able to find them) and wanted to share. I thanked her and hung up. It just so happened that my husband and I were headed out a little later to do a quick late night grocery run (once I was actually at a good stopping point for the night with my paper) and we grabbed Joan's trash on the way out. The bag with "a few cookies" turned out to be a huge collection of cookies, crackers and candies... enough to last us weeks.
I felt a pit in my stomach. Here I (again) had been so focused on my own needs that I really kind of blew her off (even if it was internally)... I only half listened to her once I understood her request, and when I hung up the phone I made some sarcastic comment in my head. What made me feel so bad was that I had been annoyed and frustrated, and she felt heard and special because someone kept her on the phone for a half hour talking about dumpsters and cookies. So I decided to make things right for me, I would invest some time in her as well, and I wrote her a letter. I could stick it under her door, but I'm mailing it, stamp and all, because I think it will emphasize that I am trying to acknowledge her. The letter was short, I don't really know her well so I didn't have a whole lot to say, but I put in the time and effort to recognize her without being petty and frustrated. I felt better about it, and I have a feeling she will be really excited to get some "real mail" from someone who took the time to care... Joan gave me a wake up call on myself, so I was glad for it, and I hope it will help me be a better and more patient person in the future!
My husband and I have a neighbour who is teetering into this category. She's still pretty sharp mentally, but she I get the feeling she is excruciatingly lonely. She also isn't afraid to ask for help... a lot. While this is a good thing, it can also be frustrating for me because sometimes her requests cut into my plans and I don't feel any emotional obligation to her. *That* may sound bad, but I'm being brave and going with honesty. I'm not proud of these feelings, but they are there. This week Joan called me late one evening while I was in the middle of working on a research paper. I almost didn't answer, but decided at the last second that if she was calling this late it may be an emergency and I knew I would feel awful if I found out the next day she had needed to get to the hospital or something worse and I didn't pick up the phone. She was fine, she just wanted to know if we could take her trash out. That didn't bother me, it was the 30 minute conversation that ensued about why the complex changed the dumpsters again and didn't they think about the fact that people like her can't haul their trash up over their heads to dump it in, and her plan for talking to them about just that... in great detail.
Remember the part where I was in the middle of writing a paper? I don't have it in me to be rude, so I stayed on the phone until she was ready to hang up, but I was a little annoyed. As she hung up she told me that she would hang a bag with some cookies on her door for us because she had bought some (insert another long story with unnecessary details such as which area of the store these cookies are located in and roughly how much they cost and how often she is able to find them) and wanted to share. I thanked her and hung up. It just so happened that my husband and I were headed out a little later to do a quick late night grocery run (once I was actually at a good stopping point for the night with my paper) and we grabbed Joan's trash on the way out. The bag with "a few cookies" turned out to be a huge collection of cookies, crackers and candies... enough to last us weeks.
I felt a pit in my stomach. Here I (again) had been so focused on my own needs that I really kind of blew her off (even if it was internally)... I only half listened to her once I understood her request, and when I hung up the phone I made some sarcastic comment in my head. What made me feel so bad was that I had been annoyed and frustrated, and she felt heard and special because someone kept her on the phone for a half hour talking about dumpsters and cookies. So I decided to make things right for me, I would invest some time in her as well, and I wrote her a letter. I could stick it under her door, but I'm mailing it, stamp and all, because I think it will emphasize that I am trying to acknowledge her. The letter was short, I don't really know her well so I didn't have a whole lot to say, but I put in the time and effort to recognize her without being petty and frustrated. I felt better about it, and I have a feeling she will be really excited to get some "real mail" from someone who took the time to care... Joan gave me a wake up call on myself, so I was glad for it, and I hope it will help me be a better and more patient person in the future!
Letter #69 - Jared
If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a family girl. I love my family deeply and rely heavily on them for support and fun. My life is one of frequent uprooting due to my father's career for most of my life, which meant that for the first 21 years, my mom dad and brother were my only real constant in life. As a result, we are much closer knit than I think a lot of families are, even when we drive each other bonkers.
I am the oldest child in my family, I have one sibling, my "baby" brother (1.5 years younger than me) Jared. Jared is everything a brother is supposed to be, annoying, too chatty, a little bit of a tattle tale, not quite as quick on the uptake as me, fun to be around, way smarter than me in some areas, funny, charming, helpful and caring. I've posted several blogs about my brother in the past (on other blogs) and about how much I adore him. When I got married, one of the toughest transitions for both of us was it was the first time in our lives that "home" was no longer the same space for us. When I was in college, I still came home, when I graduated, I moved home, Jared and I have lived together our entire lives, and suddenly "going home" meant a place where he wasn't. We have grown to be such close friends and that was a real struggle. Thankfully my new home is a manageable distance from him, and I actually live only a couple of miles from where he works, so we still find time to spend together, even if it isn't nearly as frequent as I would like.
Last weekend Jared did me a real solid (as he often does) and took the night out to spend with me and get me to a gig of my husbands that was several hours away. He offered to go because he knew I was pretty much dead on my feet tired, and that this particular gig was really important to me to attend. We ended up frantically assembling cds for 30 minutes when he arrived to pick me up (my husband is notorious for not remembering to even have cds ready let along with him at gigs), then almost 2 hours visiting on the drive there, time there (and gambling a little together - it was a casino gig), then the almost 2 hour ride home where he dropped me off. It was such a great treat, not only because I get very lonely with my life (I'm often home alone during the day with limited transportation options) but also because it had been awhile since my brother and I had so much time to just hang out together, outside of some other something going on.
My letter to Jared allowed me to thank him for spending that time with me, and to remind him of how much I love him, and that even though I am thrilled to have moved into this new chapter of my life, I still miss having him around all the time, and wish we got to see each other more.
If you have a sibling you don't get to spend much time with, please use this entry as inspiration to make an intentional effort to get in touch with them, or to schedule some time with them!
I am the oldest child in my family, I have one sibling, my "baby" brother (1.5 years younger than me) Jared. Jared is everything a brother is supposed to be, annoying, too chatty, a little bit of a tattle tale, not quite as quick on the uptake as me, fun to be around, way smarter than me in some areas, funny, charming, helpful and caring. I've posted several blogs about my brother in the past (on other blogs) and about how much I adore him. When I got married, one of the toughest transitions for both of us was it was the first time in our lives that "home" was no longer the same space for us. When I was in college, I still came home, when I graduated, I moved home, Jared and I have lived together our entire lives, and suddenly "going home" meant a place where he wasn't. We have grown to be such close friends and that was a real struggle. Thankfully my new home is a manageable distance from him, and I actually live only a couple of miles from where he works, so we still find time to spend together, even if it isn't nearly as frequent as I would like.
Last weekend Jared did me a real solid (as he often does) and took the night out to spend with me and get me to a gig of my husbands that was several hours away. He offered to go because he knew I was pretty much dead on my feet tired, and that this particular gig was really important to me to attend. We ended up frantically assembling cds for 30 minutes when he arrived to pick me up (my husband is notorious for not remembering to even have cds ready let along with him at gigs), then almost 2 hours visiting on the drive there, time there (and gambling a little together - it was a casino gig), then the almost 2 hour ride home where he dropped me off. It was such a great treat, not only because I get very lonely with my life (I'm often home alone during the day with limited transportation options) but also because it had been awhile since my brother and I had so much time to just hang out together, outside of some other something going on.
My letter to Jared allowed me to thank him for spending that time with me, and to remind him of how much I love him, and that even though I am thrilled to have moved into this new chapter of my life, I still miss having him around all the time, and wish we got to see each other more.
If you have a sibling you don't get to spend much time with, please use this entry as inspiration to make an intentional effort to get in touch with them, or to schedule some time with them!
Letter #68 - Randi
I know I often tout the awesomeness of my cousins both blood related and in-laws, but Randi just about tops the awesome cousin charts. As Randi and I got to know each other while my husband and I were dating, I would often tell him that if we ever split up, I would have to be allowed to keep her. Randi is the very definition of spunk. (that's in my dictionary, I didn't webster it) She has an incredible passion for life and an awesomely deep love for her family. When my husband and I got engaged, it became clear that Randi would be my go-to girl when I needed a safe space. Being a married-in to the family as well, she and I share "status" in what can and can't be discussed or fought, what buttons get pushed, and how we can love our husbands so much and shake our heads at the same time at some of the shared family traits. We both love the family we've chosen to join but it's nice to have someone who can share the love *and* the frustrations that inevitably come with being "the outsider" at times.
As I wrote my letter to Randi I found myself missing her intensely. We went through a spell recently where we were hanging out a lot, then this past month both our lives got busy and I've barely seen her. My letter to Randi made me reflect on how blessed I am to have her in my life, and even more to have her in my family!!!
As I wrote my letter to Randi I found myself missing her intensely. We went through a spell recently where we were hanging out a lot, then this past month both our lives got busy and I've barely seen her. My letter to Randi made me reflect on how blessed I am to have her in my life, and even more to have her in my family!!!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Letter #67 - Mohammad
This letter went out to one of my fellow Tribe members from school. Mohammad is the only man in our tribe, which often leads him to have to be the sole defender or representative of his gender. He has lived a fantastical life. I have only had the privilege of hearing a few of his stories so far, but the experiences he has had in his life simply floor me.
I decided to write him a letter because I don't often get the chance in class to sit and chat with him - something I will try and address this month when I see him again. I always feel like I've only just scratched the surface, and I'd like to know him better. I hope I get that chance. I don't know if he's much of a writer, so I don't know if I can expect a response from him or not, but I hope to hear something back, or perhaps at least he will take it as an invitation to share with me in class more often.
I decided to write him a letter because I don't often get the chance in class to sit and chat with him - something I will try and address this month when I see him again. I always feel like I've only just scratched the surface, and I'd like to know him better. I hope I get that chance. I don't know if he's much of a writer, so I don't know if I can expect a response from him or not, but I hope to hear something back, or perhaps at least he will take it as an invitation to share with me in class more often.
Letter #66 - Alan
This one may not hit the mailbox for a few days as I realised after the fact that I don't have a current mailing address for him, but Alan is getting a letter as soon as I can get one. :o)
Alan was my pastor for a few years in college and I adore him. He always had a hug and a smile for me, and was a key person in helping me deal with some rough times during my freshman year. As life has evolved, I have often lost touch with Alan and am always ecstatic when he crops up somewhere I am so I can get a hug and a smile.
I hope my letter finds him well, I know he takes on the weight of the world sometimes, and he deserves so much to just be happy and free.
Alan was my pastor for a few years in college and I adore him. He always had a hug and a smile for me, and was a key person in helping me deal with some rough times during my freshman year. As life has evolved, I have often lost touch with Alan and am always ecstatic when he crops up somewhere I am so I can get a hug and a smile.
I hope my letter finds him well, I know he takes on the weight of the world sometimes, and he deserves so much to just be happy and free.
Letter #65 - Todd
This letter was written as an attempt to heal something internal. Todd is a good friend, and I worked with him for 5 years in an amazing work experience that forever changed me. When I was laid off, I had extremely mixed feelings. I tend to take things personally, and so it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that me no longer being employed wasn't personal. I had friends and colleagues who felt my circumstances were unfair, but I understood the situation, and wouldn't believe that I had intentionally been taken advantage of in any way. I stand by this. I believe Todd is a good person, and that he does his very best with what he has. He and I had an excellent relationship, and I miss having him in my life.
Last year, he was able to take a job in a different part of the state so he and his family moved several hours away. This quickly felt like a nail in the coffin of our friendship to me as I began to feel as though I fell into the "out of sight out of mind" stereotype. Todd is a people person, but in a very different way than I am. I know him very well, and again, I struggled with not taking our lack of contact personally. I decided recently that I needed to simply let go of the struggling pieces I've been hanging on to, and focus on restoring the friendship. I don't think he feels it has suffered the way I do, but for me, it's important that I work to make it better so that I don't kill it with my own negativity.
The letter I sent him isn't much, it isn't an outpouring of the heart or a begging for attention. It's simple and includes an object I know he's been looking for, that ended up in my things when we parted ways. I hope it helps get us back in touch. I know things will never be like they were, both of our lives are so different now, but I do miss having him around to bounce ideas off of, or to run questions by, or to send that really offbeat photo or joke I come across that most people wouldn't get... we need another pool party... with umbrella drinks.
Last year, he was able to take a job in a different part of the state so he and his family moved several hours away. This quickly felt like a nail in the coffin of our friendship to me as I began to feel as though I fell into the "out of sight out of mind" stereotype. Todd is a people person, but in a very different way than I am. I know him very well, and again, I struggled with not taking our lack of contact personally. I decided recently that I needed to simply let go of the struggling pieces I've been hanging on to, and focus on restoring the friendship. I don't think he feels it has suffered the way I do, but for me, it's important that I work to make it better so that I don't kill it with my own negativity.
The letter I sent him isn't much, it isn't an outpouring of the heart or a begging for attention. It's simple and includes an object I know he's been looking for, that ended up in my things when we parted ways. I hope it helps get us back in touch. I know things will never be like they were, both of our lives are so different now, but I do miss having him around to bounce ideas off of, or to run questions by, or to send that really offbeat photo or joke I come across that most people wouldn't get... we need another pool party... with umbrella drinks.
Letter #64 - Ben
I seem to have a talent for understanding the misunderstood. Ben and I became friends mostly because of this talent of mine. Ben is often misunderstood. He is hilarious, has a wicked dry sense of humour, and is super smart. He's also a deeply caring person with an incredibly strong faith. He's very set in his ways, and comfortable with that, and sometimes he struggles to express his passion in ways that don't come of as mean or pushy. In spite of this, I get him. Ben and I were housemates for several years and I absolutely loved living with him. He was the kind of friend I could find myself trapped in conversation with for hours in the hall or on the stairs until we both realised we were supposed to be doing other things and would reluctantly head our separate ways. I always knew when he was kidding, when he was serious, and when he was sleep deprived (usually because he would start making seemingly mean jokes about my virtue lol). Ben and I developed a special friendship that I think will always make him one of those people in my life who no matter how long it's been since we've spoken or seen each other, time will stand still and we will pick up right where we left off.
I was bummed this year because I had to turn down an opportunity to spend a week with Ben chaperoning a mission trip for this year's spring break kids. This event began when we lived together, and it was so awesome to be asked to come back and be a part of it again, it's just that life made it bad timing for me, so I had to say no. I really hope I get another chance because I truly regretted having to say no. The idea of getting to spend a week hanging out with Ben was awesome and I wish I had been able to jump on board. Turning down the trip however did make me realise how much I've neglected my friendship with him these past few years, and made me want to change that for the future. So I wrote him a letter and sent him some love. I hope it proves to be a good first step toward restoring our contact and that it leads to more time together and fewer gaps inbetween.
So raise your glass with me... to Ben's glass eye! :o)
I was bummed this year because I had to turn down an opportunity to spend a week with Ben chaperoning a mission trip for this year's spring break kids. This event began when we lived together, and it was so awesome to be asked to come back and be a part of it again, it's just that life made it bad timing for me, so I had to say no. I really hope I get another chance because I truly regretted having to say no. The idea of getting to spend a week hanging out with Ben was awesome and I wish I had been able to jump on board. Turning down the trip however did make me realise how much I've neglected my friendship with him these past few years, and made me want to change that for the future. So I wrote him a letter and sent him some love. I hope it proves to be a good first step toward restoring our contact and that it leads to more time together and fewer gaps inbetween.
So raise your glass with me... to Ben's glass eye! :o)
Letter #63 - Don
My birth was a prophetic occasion. Most people can't say that. I can.
When my mum was pregnant with me, my folks had a visitor from the church staying with them. Uncle Don, as he became known to me, was in their home and told my mum she was pregnant. She was 100% convinced he was wrong. He told her he just knew these things even thought she insisted he was wrong and that she wasn't pregnant. He was right. 9 months later, there I was. Ever since then, he introduces me to people as the girl whose birth he foretold. It's pretty awesome.
Uncle Don drifts in and out of my life. We'll be very close and see each other with some regularity for several years, and then I will completely lose touch with him until 4-5 years down the road when life crosses our paths once again. And yet my love and admiration for him never lessen. He is incredibly funny and special to me, he provides profound ministries and hearty laughs. Definitely the kind of guy you want sitting at the dinner table, or in the back of your class.
Uncle Don wasn't able to attend our wedding last year, so I decided I needed to write him and at least send him a wedding photo, so he can continue to brag about his prophetic skills :o) It was nice to spend some time focusing on him and our relationship, and even if I don't hear anything back from him (not sure he's much of a writer) I feel really good about having reached out again and sending him some love. I hope next year I can make it to our church's world conference because that's always a place I know I'm going to run into him and get a big hug, and probably a free lunch :o)
When my mum was pregnant with me, my folks had a visitor from the church staying with them. Uncle Don, as he became known to me, was in their home and told my mum she was pregnant. She was 100% convinced he was wrong. He told her he just knew these things even thought she insisted he was wrong and that she wasn't pregnant. He was right. 9 months later, there I was. Ever since then, he introduces me to people as the girl whose birth he foretold. It's pretty awesome.
Uncle Don drifts in and out of my life. We'll be very close and see each other with some regularity for several years, and then I will completely lose touch with him until 4-5 years down the road when life crosses our paths once again. And yet my love and admiration for him never lessen. He is incredibly funny and special to me, he provides profound ministries and hearty laughs. Definitely the kind of guy you want sitting at the dinner table, or in the back of your class.
Uncle Don wasn't able to attend our wedding last year, so I decided I needed to write him and at least send him a wedding photo, so he can continue to brag about his prophetic skills :o) It was nice to spend some time focusing on him and our relationship, and even if I don't hear anything back from him (not sure he's much of a writer) I feel really good about having reached out again and sending him some love. I hope next year I can make it to our church's world conference because that's always a place I know I'm going to run into him and get a big hug, and probably a free lunch :o)
Letter #62 - Cherry
I have a very large adopted family. My whole life my parents introduced people into our lives that we came to know as Aunt & Uncle, even though we have no blood relations to them. Aunt Cherry is one such adopted family member. I literally cannot remember a part of my life that she wasn't in. My dad knew her and her husband before he met my mum, so they've been a part of my life since the day I was born. They've always lived in another state than us, and have always been a branch of the family that we were lucky to see once every few years. Until I met my husband. Since he's a country musician, part of his life entails yearly (if not more frequent) trips to Nashville. Soon after we began dating, I put two and two together and realised Steve & Cherry lived just outside the city limits. I put in a phone call and several weeks later I was on my first road trip ever with a boyfriend, on my first trip to Nashville, and so excited to be only hours away from spending almost a week with Steve & Cherry.
Since that first trip we have stayed in their home usually at least one week a year, and they have been up to visit us several times in Michigan. In fact, they have become such an important part of both of our lives that they performed our wedding last year. I always look forward to our visits there, because I know at some point or another I can count on a long and involved kitchen conversation with Aunt Cherry while the guys are off talking music or business or philosophy or something. I LOVE spending time in the kitchen, and while cooking isn't Aunt Cherry's all time favourite thing to do, I think she likes it when I'm there coz I love it. Her oldest son is also a chef, and sometimes I think having me there in the kitchen and chatting makes her feel closer to him in some ways. I'm ok with that because I love getting to talk with her about life, love and human behaviour. She is a retired teacher, so we also share a passion for kids and education. I was excited to write her because I've been meaning to get around to sending her a photo of the four of us together at our wedding, and now I finally did.
We're hoping on making another trip to Nashville in the spring (well, my husband for sure is, but my school and job situations will dictate whether or not I can join him) and I'm sure hoping I can be a part of it because it will mean at least a day or two with Aunt Cherry (as long as they're in town). Something I always look forward to!
Since that first trip we have stayed in their home usually at least one week a year, and they have been up to visit us several times in Michigan. In fact, they have become such an important part of both of our lives that they performed our wedding last year. I always look forward to our visits there, because I know at some point or another I can count on a long and involved kitchen conversation with Aunt Cherry while the guys are off talking music or business or philosophy or something. I LOVE spending time in the kitchen, and while cooking isn't Aunt Cherry's all time favourite thing to do, I think she likes it when I'm there coz I love it. Her oldest son is also a chef, and sometimes I think having me there in the kitchen and chatting makes her feel closer to him in some ways. I'm ok with that because I love getting to talk with her about life, love and human behaviour. She is a retired teacher, so we also share a passion for kids and education. I was excited to write her because I've been meaning to get around to sending her a photo of the four of us together at our wedding, and now I finally did.
We're hoping on making another trip to Nashville in the spring (well, my husband for sure is, but my school and job situations will dictate whether or not I can join him) and I'm sure hoping I can be a part of it because it will mean at least a day or two with Aunt Cherry (as long as they're in town). Something I always look forward to!
Letter #61 - Tammy
I have mentioned before how great my cousins are. Tammy is no exception. As I've grown older, the age gap between me and my cousins on my dad's side of the family has become less important, and we've all grown to be good friends. If I had to pick one word to describe Tam it would be spunky. She's hilarious, kind hearted and knows her way around the kitchen (are you noticing a trend on the van Rossum side yet? lol) she and my brother are actually probably closer than she and I, but I love her all the same and according to her status updates on facebook recently, she needed a little extra love. So I sent her a card with a big hug and a smile and well wishes for a better week ahead. Knowing the Canadian Postal Service, she may not get my card until next year, but hey, one can hope :o)
Writing to Tammy made me think about family gatherings to come, that side of the family has really tried hard the last several years to get together on a regular basis again. When I was a kid we always did Christmas, then as we grew older it fell by the wayside. Now a lot of my cousins have their own kids and it's become a priority for us all again, which has been really nice. This year we're actually in the process of trying to get an Easter gathering together as well. I'm not sure yet if it's going to work out for my husband and I to go, but we're hoping we can. I love my family, as insane as they are, and look forward to spending time with my cousins because I don't get to very often.
Writing to Tammy made me think about family gatherings to come, that side of the family has really tried hard the last several years to get together on a regular basis again. When I was a kid we always did Christmas, then as we grew older it fell by the wayside. Now a lot of my cousins have their own kids and it's become a priority for us all again, which has been really nice. This year we're actually in the process of trying to get an Easter gathering together as well. I'm not sure yet if it's going to work out for my husband and I to go, but we're hoping we can. I love my family, as insane as they are, and look forward to spending time with my cousins because I don't get to very often.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Letter #60 - Herman
I am so blessed by my family. I had a wonderful upbringing and so many opportunities that most kids don't get. I lived the life of an expat and as a result I also got to meet a lot of family and friends I would have otherwise never had the chance to meet. While I *had* met Oome Herman prior to my family moving to Rotterdam, I wouldn't have gotten to know him nearly as well as we did having lived so much closer. Hetty & Herman are my dad's aunt and uncle, making them my great-aunt and great-uncle. And they are truly great. They took us under their wing from the second we stepped off that plane in Amsterdam, and my life wouldn't be the same without them in it. Last month I received news that Oome Herman is once again battling cancer. I was devastated. In 2008 I had the chance to bring my (then boyfriend) to Europe with me for a two week stay. During that time we spent a few days in Eindhoven with my dutch family. Oome Herman was ill then as well, and I really really struggled with seeing him that way. He wasn't up to leaving the house, which meant we spent way more time with my aunts and cousins, and only saw him a little bit. It was troubling to me, but at the same time I was so incredibly grateful to be able to sit with him and watch tv and snuggle. When we left, he promised that the following year he would be coming to visit for our wedding. I laughed and told him it might be more than a year and he assured me I was wrong. I wasn't, but it wasn't as far off as I had expected. Just 2 years later we were getting married, and Herman was too sick to come. Again I was devastated. I of course understood but was so sad that he was no longer able to travel, since I don't know when I'll have another chance to see him.
This week I sent him a letter in a card that I hope will make him laugh. I sent him some photos and a whole lot of love. He's having surgery this month and I just pray it helps, he's in a lot of pain which bothers me tremendously. I pray my next trip to the Netherlands won't be for his funeral but for another visit with him. He makes me laugh so much, I have never laughed until I cried more often than in his presence. He has so much love in his heart and I miss him so very much. Those reading this entry, I would appreciate prayers or good thoughts or positive energy... whatever your form of well wishing to him and his wife... that they may get some relief from these struggles.
This week I sent him a letter in a card that I hope will make him laugh. I sent him some photos and a whole lot of love. He's having surgery this month and I just pray it helps, he's in a lot of pain which bothers me tremendously. I pray my next trip to the Netherlands won't be for his funeral but for another visit with him. He makes me laugh so much, I have never laughed until I cried more often than in his presence. He has so much love in his heart and I miss him so very much. Those reading this entry, I would appreciate prayers or good thoughts or positive energy... whatever your form of well wishing to him and his wife... that they may get some relief from these struggles.
Letter #59 - Erica
Sometimes I feel like a bad friend. I get so wrapped up in my own stuff, or in the lives of a couple of specific individuals, and I neglect other friendships. I don't mean to, and I often still think about those people, but I get bad at calling, or inviting to coffee or dinner or lunch... and sometimes it happens more because we try several times to make something happen and schedules get in the way, so I eventually kind of stop trying until "things settle". Erica is one of those people I feel as though I've been neglecting lately. I was feeling bad about it, so I sent her a letter this week. I'll admit, it's not the most insightful and incredible letter ever written... it's mostly an invitation to set up a work day like we used to (we both worked from home and fell victim to the trappings thereof at times, so we would support each other by meeting in a central, less distracting location, and work on our own projects while keeping each other company. It was nice.)
It was also an invitation to have her and her husband over sometime to hang out, since we haven't successfully done so since we got married. Part of the excitement for us of getting married and getting our own place was finally having somewhere to have OUR friends over. We both lived at home with our folks, which was great, but if you wanted to just have a couple's night and invited friends to dinner or something, it got kind of weird "hey wanna come hang out at my parents house with me and my fiance? they'll stay upstairs..." We're rounding the bend on 6 months of marriage and haven't had nearly as many of our friends over yet as we would like. No solid reason, it just hasn't happened yet. I'm hoping that some of these invitations I'm extending with this project will start to change some of that, because we really love to entertain :o)
It was also an invitation to have her and her husband over sometime to hang out, since we haven't successfully done so since we got married. Part of the excitement for us of getting married and getting our own place was finally having somewhere to have OUR friends over. We both lived at home with our folks, which was great, but if you wanted to just have a couple's night and invited friends to dinner or something, it got kind of weird "hey wanna come hang out at my parents house with me and my fiance? they'll stay upstairs..." We're rounding the bend on 6 months of marriage and haven't had nearly as many of our friends over yet as we would like. No solid reason, it just hasn't happened yet. I'm hoping that some of these invitations I'm extending with this project will start to change some of that, because we really love to entertain :o)
Letter #58 - Alyssa
Some people just worm their way into your heart and stay there. Alyssa is one of those people. I almost never get to see her anymore, she and her husband share a phone to cut costs and she's awful with email, so it seems the only times I get to see her is if she happens to be at my folks' house at the same time as me. We met Alyssa when my mum first got sick. Things were so hard for us that no one even had the energy to clean, so we found some extra pennies somewhere and cashed them in with a house cleaning service. Alyssa was one of the girls who showed up ready to work, and she rocked it out. We began requesting her not only because of her skill, but because she was so caring and attentive. She would run things by my mum, or suggest places that looked like they needed some extra care. No added expense, just added professionalism. She quickly grew to be a part of the family. Then she got engaged. We were all so excited for her, had her fiance over for dinner with her so we could meet him, and then they hired me to be their wedding photographer. It was awesome, and the first wedding I'd ever been paid for.
Alyssa is an animal fanatic. She used to always spend her breaks playing with our critters, and mourned our losses with us when Herman and Fowler went missing. I decided to take our friendship into my own hands and sent her a letter, inviting her to get in touch with me so we could have her and her husband over for dinner sometime. I also sweetened the pot by including some photos of the kitties :o)
I really hope she gets in touch with me, because I miss her a bunch. As mum's health improved, we needed to cut costs and the cleaning became more of a luxury again, so now my folks only call Alyssa in on rare occasions. Plus I don't live at home with them anymore, so when she *is* there, I'm not. I would love to have her and Michael over for an evening to hang out, eat drink and maybe play some wii or something, I think they'd be totally game for that :o)
Alyssa is an animal fanatic. She used to always spend her breaks playing with our critters, and mourned our losses with us when Herman and Fowler went missing. I decided to take our friendship into my own hands and sent her a letter, inviting her to get in touch with me so we could have her and her husband over for dinner sometime. I also sweetened the pot by including some photos of the kitties :o)
I really hope she gets in touch with me, because I miss her a bunch. As mum's health improved, we needed to cut costs and the cleaning became more of a luxury again, so now my folks only call Alyssa in on rare occasions. Plus I don't live at home with them anymore, so when she *is* there, I'm not. I would love to have her and Michael over for an evening to hang out, eat drink and maybe play some wii or something, I think they'd be totally game for that :o)
Letter #57 - Wolfgang
I think I've mentioned before that one of the biggest downsides for me to being unemployed is that I miss people. Over my five years working with the same group of people, I made some good friends and I miss getting to see them. Wolfgang is one of those friends. Wolfgang was in Mexico when I was still working, and I loved getting to go down there (usually once a year) to see all my Mexican peeps, and especially looked forward to seeing Wolfgang. Last year, Wolfgang moved to South Africa, further reducing my chances of seeing him again anytime soon.
I decided to send Wolfgang a note to tell him how much I miss him, and to send him a wedding photo. South Africa is one of the places on my top 5 places I want to visit in the world, so who knows, maybe someday I can visit there, and then I can see my buddy Wolfgang :o)
I decided to send Wolfgang a note to tell him how much I miss him, and to send him a wedding photo. South Africa is one of the places on my top 5 places I want to visit in the world, so who knows, maybe someday I can visit there, and then I can see my buddy Wolfgang :o)
Letter #56 - Teresa
I have been blessed with AWESOME cousins. What's more is I have AWESOME cousin-in-laws. As I've grown older I've been able to get to know some of my other cousins better. On my dad's side of the family my cousins are mostly quite a bit older than me, so growing up we weren't all that close, they were babysitters not buddies. My one cousin married a beautiful and gentle soul a few years ago, Teresa. They now have two awesome children and are simply an adorable family. Teresa isn't much for the email and such, so I decided to send her a letter. Writing to Teresa gave me a chance to just send her some love. She is so cheery and sweet, but I always get the feeling she puts a LOT of pressure on herself... she's one of those people who feels like she has to be the perfect everything. Perfect wife, perfect mom, perfect daughter. She's awesome and I love her dearly, but I sent her a letter of love and encouragement, hoping she'll be able to let up on herself just a little.
I don't get to see Teresa as often as I'd like. She and her family live in Canada, and I don't get up there much anymore for visits. My husband and I have talked about going to visit them sometime this year, I really hope we make it happen because I really do love my cousins and wish I could spend more time with them.
I don't get to see Teresa as often as I'd like. She and her family live in Canada, and I don't get up there much anymore for visits. My husband and I have talked about going to visit them sometime this year, I really hope we make it happen because I really do love my cousins and wish I could spend more time with them.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Letter #55 - Andy
So remember a few posts ago when I thought my numbering was all screwed up? It was. I got a note on facebook this week from my dear friend Andy thanking me for the card I sent him. So I'm not crazy :o)
Andy is from the same era of my life as Haitham, and he had a birthday last month. Andy and I just reconnected within the last year thanks to (you guessed it) Facebook. Andy and I are self proclaimed siblings. When my family moved from Rotterdam he came to the airport to see me off and gave me a beautiful silver bracelet as a reminder of our friendship. Within a year of our move that bracelet disappeared and I was devastated. As a result, I worked twice as hard to keep him in my heart because I am usually big on physical mementos (not as an exclusive reminder but as an enhanced reminder). Andy and I had only just gotten to know each other a month or two prior to my family moving. I already knew that we would only have a little time together, and I think he actually adopted me as his sister so he could redirect his crush on me since he knew I was leaving... he's never said as much but I have my suspicions ;o)
I lost touch with Andy for years and years, and he was one of those people I would often initiate searches for. When I finally received a message from him, I was elated to reconnect. I always think of him on his birthday, and was so excited this year to finally be in a position again to send him a card (since previous years had left me with no mailing address for him) Writing out his card gave me an opportunity to send him so much of my love and the gratitude I have for his love and friendship. He's loyal to a fault and even though years had gone by without us speaking, we were able to pick up as if we had never been forced to let off. I adore him and desperately hope we can be reunited in person some day!
Andy is from the same era of my life as Haitham, and he had a birthday last month. Andy and I just reconnected within the last year thanks to (you guessed it) Facebook. Andy and I are self proclaimed siblings. When my family moved from Rotterdam he came to the airport to see me off and gave me a beautiful silver bracelet as a reminder of our friendship. Within a year of our move that bracelet disappeared and I was devastated. As a result, I worked twice as hard to keep him in my heart because I am usually big on physical mementos (not as an exclusive reminder but as an enhanced reminder). Andy and I had only just gotten to know each other a month or two prior to my family moving. I already knew that we would only have a little time together, and I think he actually adopted me as his sister so he could redirect his crush on me since he knew I was leaving... he's never said as much but I have my suspicions ;o)
I lost touch with Andy for years and years, and he was one of those people I would often initiate searches for. When I finally received a message from him, I was elated to reconnect. I always think of him on his birthday, and was so excited this year to finally be in a position again to send him a card (since previous years had left me with no mailing address for him) Writing out his card gave me an opportunity to send him so much of my love and the gratitude I have for his love and friendship. He's loyal to a fault and even though years had gone by without us speaking, we were able to pick up as if we had never been forced to let off. I adore him and desperately hope we can be reunited in person some day!
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